Thursday, May 7, 2009

Making decisions, something I'm good at

Let's review...

In real life, I have 8 friends who are on me to get laid.  All of them have read about my almost-sex encounter with the lovely but young Kerry.  Two of them are gals I slept with in the past 6 months (which is now my actual amount of time since I had full-on sex, wow).  2 are guys who aren't getting any either.  4 are women I'm friends with.

Online, I have about 15 friends who are on me to get laid.  12 of them have no idea what I look like (I keep flip-flopping about posting my pic, but it's dangerous because of my desire to go friends-with-benefits with a girl who has a guy already).  3 of them do, and have propositioned me already (I won't fly 2-3 hours for sex, usually).  1 lives local and wants to hang out, but she's a lesbian, and I have a tendency to hit on lesbians hard.  Talk about a tease.

I have an on-again off-again fuck buddy (Melissa) who is now single, which is terrible because I'd jump her in 3 minutes, but she'll get clingy.  She doesn't read this site, gets a bit jealous already.  We go back sexually almost 10 years (she's 29).  That's out.

Liz and Celine are both really beautiful, great in bed, and have the character and confidence I like in women.  Celine's boyfriend is too close for comfort to me, I like the guy.  Her and I spoke on the phone last night for 20 minutes.  She's crazy about him, too, but he just can't keep it going past 10 minutes, or he loses it entirely after 2 beers.  I feel bad, because she's way out of my league looks-wise.  Liz's boyfriend is a total dork (sorry, babe), but he loves her completely.  For me, Liz is girlfriend material.  I don't want that kind of entanglement, nor do I like being the other guy with a woman I'd consider dating seriously.

There's Kerry, the virgin.  Of the 3 gals, she probably is the cutest, with Celine being the prettiest and Liz being the hottest.  Kerry's emailed me a few times, and we've chatted on Google Talk a few times.  She wants to get together soon.  I can guarantee, right now, that we will never have sex.  She's just too tight.  That's not worth me getting frustrated over.  So I'm trying to keep that friendly, but she has the kind of face that I just want to...

We have Stace, who I only madeout with.  Nice girl, probably girlfriend material but not for me.  I'm calling her this afternoon to make plans for next week.  Let's see how it goes.

Me?  I'm actually OK with it all.  I'm not in a rush.  It's been awhile, so I want to make sure I'm clear-headed.  I have no problem going to a bar for a hookup, but it isn't me.  I don't like taking girls home from bars.  I prefer meeting completely sober.  Every one night stand I've had in my life has continued into a many-nights-stand, and I like it that way.  I know Celine and I will sleep together again, someday.  The emails she sends me are crazy graphic, I'm BEGGING her to start blogging.  Liz and I, maybe.

Today I asked 5 women for their numbers, got shot down by 2 (one HARSHLY), 1 gave me her email (I tossed it in the trash), 2 gave me their numbers.  I'll call those 2 next week, and see how it goes.  One was 24, one was 29.  Both cute, maybe equal to me in looks.

The upside: there are options.  The downside: I really want either friends-with-benefits (more on the friends side) or a sugar-baby who has shit to do and won't bug me 4 times a day.  I don't want a random one-night stand because when I do finally get it, I'm going to want it a lot more.  I'm meeting more women lately who are becoming good friends, but none of them are really that attractive to me (or attracted to me).


Anonymous said...

Ive never seen your face either but Id sleep with you just because everything you write is unbelievably descriptive with sexiness. Hotttttt. Im in Chicago come find me.

ChicagoSane said...

Oh, this is what I need now.


Pete or John, is that you?

I need to disable Anonymous comments. ;)

"Celine" said...

I'm the prettiest? You're so sweet. And you better believe I'm going to run my hands through your chest hair again. I have to meet this Liz soon, ok? I still think you should come out tomorrow, We'll have a ton of hot and single girls there.

How about you swing by and make me really jealous and hot and then take one home and post about it and make me mad crazy enough to bang the boy past 10 minutes? Please?

I will start a blog as soon as I can figure it out. Maybe you can come over and show me how today?

ChicagoSane said...


KIDDING! How about you marry that hot boy of yours and I'll be your last fling?

I'm still saying no to the party. It's not Paulo, I'm just not in the big party mood this week. Went to one last week or the week before and need a break before the big BBQ season starts.

As for blogging, I can walk you through it on the phone. Create a blogger account and you're good to go, it's sooo simple.

Thanks for that email this morning, sorry I didn't reply yet.

~liz~ said...

celine i saw a pic of you and B on his cell phone and why he thinks im the hottest is crazy talk. and yah my bf is a dork but thats one reason i like him so much. cool on meeting you celine, lets all get B to come out one night and triple team him to pick up the girl of our choice and write about it here so we can make fun of him (and get jealous). i get butterflies everytime i come here, lol.

ChicagoSane said...

Yeah, I'm sure to do that again Liz. As if you hooking me up with your young friend wasn't bad enough!

I think it's a good idea. Maybe I'll throw a party in June with an open invite here. Hopefully by then I'll have 100 followers and maybe some MEN so you ladies can take your pick of other followers ;)

I have to go and get an estimate on the TWO dents in my car now. Hoping its under $2000, I'd hate to blow that much on random acts of sleepiness by others.

I am going out tonight, see my Twitter for where. You can come see me, if you want. If I go out there.

Thanks for the teasing, freaks.

My Other Blog said...

Don't have sex. Having sex will kill your creativity. It's the lack of sex that's fueling your writing.
And Kerry should see a doctor about her problem - I think this is what she has: "A condition called vaginismus is a painful, involuntary spasm of the muscles that surround the vaginal entrance. It may occur in women who fear that penetration will be painful and also may stem from a sexual phobia or from a previous traumatic or painful experience." This was straight from WebMd.

ChicagoSane said...

I'm always creative. I've maintained daily blog posts for over 4 years (other sites) and don't stop. Part of my mental "disorder" is creativity that comes not in bursts, but as an easy flow. That's why I get paid as a writer: I'm not necessarily great at it, I am just consistent.

As for Kerry, I actually brought that up. She saw a gyno about it and the gyno said she's just built that way and to get with a guy who is on the slimmer size, cock-wise. I'm on the thicker size, so no-go there.

I've had 3, maybe 4 women that were tough fits, even though they obviously wanted it. One of my more recent women I blogged about was a tight fit that never let up, but it worked.

Andy said...

Liar! Just a little teasing from 2 Latin girls and you're feeling odd! Don't lie! ;)

ChicagoSane said...

I have never discussed on here my fascination with latin women. Generally, I don't do well dating them (almost 100% of them have denied even giving me a phone number).

Honestly, they're genetically better dancers, and that translates into the bedroom. I wanted to write so much more about my night with Celine, but was fearful of writing it too long and drawn out.

Sidenote: when I look for porn, it's almost ALWAYS latin-woman porn. I don't care for the fake boobs or the plastic surgery face. Dark hair, olive skin, skinny fingers, ouch.

Ok, enough enough, I have to trim my nails! :)

Andy said...

I have to agree on it all. And yes, I have to agree we are definitely not the nicest girls. We have a certain personality that sometimes makes us a real bitch.

Yes, I said it. I KNOW for a FACT I can be a real bitch when I'm trying. But I also know that with the right guy, things can be different. I can be such a doll.

PS. Latin women *isn't equal to* skinny fingers. Yeah, I've seen THOSE fingers that scare the crap out of me (I do have skinny LONG fingers. seriously, it's odd. And practical. ;) )

ChicagoSane said...

I was originally going to write "skinny long fingers" but forgot. Too funny.

And I know that it's not all latin women, but the ones that usually get my motor going have them. Who knows what the genetic reason is.

They do come in handy. I'll have to write about that particular fact another day. Definitely R-rated there.

30 minutes till I have to leave, yeesh! I have almost no clothes, so many in storage or at dry cleaners'. Oh, oh.

Andy said...

Exactly what I say every time I go out. But my excuse is that I've worn everything and therefore, I need to go shopping.