Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dealing with the girl who is frustrated with the early hookup pursuit

I wasn't going to post again today (have to bake a cake, actually), but I read a blog update on one I follow.  The Fabulous Miss B writes in an article titled courtship about her pains and frustrations over guys who call a new girl they're dating over for a booty call.

I've never done it, even with a girl that I'd label a fuck buddy.  As I said in today's post, always offer a woman's two choices, but don't force a choice down her throat.  Calling (or even worse, texting or emailing) a girl to come over for a booty call is not offering a choice, so it's a failure no matter what.  I don't care how much you think you girl thinks its hot or sexy, don't do it.

When you have a fuck buddy, or a girl who wants to have sex, and you're interested in finding out if she's in the mood, your best bet is to offer her two contradicting options.  Call her up (on the phone), but don't make chit chat.  Do it when you are truly busy (she'll know, and you can't fake it), and tell her you want to see her and give her two options for next week.  If it's Thursday, say "Hey, Miss B, how about we get together either Tuesday or Thursday next week?  I'm ready to get together with you again."  If she wants your butt in her sheets, she'll counter with "How about tonight?"  If she doesn't, there's no chance, except if she's got problems and you force the issue.  Bad, bad idea.

If you meet a new girl, and she's into you like that, the invitation to come over will happen.  If she wants a hookup late at night, she'll contact you.

Miss B makes a good point: the kind of girl that one-night-standard predators go for are not most women.  If you're that kind of guy, stick to the late night 4am bars like Estelle's in Chicago.  It's a guaranteed lay any night of the week after 3am, usually.  If you're not that kind of guy and you're just horny, you're still better off with a random barskeeze than a nice girl.

Where things differ between Miss B and I is that every girl I've ever had sex with on a first or second date is NEVER a barskeeze, a slut or easy.  I've never once pushed, pursued or teased a girl into putting out that fast.  Since I'm friends with every one of my ex-lovers, I know fully that they're not the hook-up masters some ended up being with me for whatever reason.  Maybe I made them really comfortable, maybe I showed them a ridiculously fun time, maybe they just needed to get laid and I was obviously not out to hurt them.

If I do meet a girl, and it's obvious she's out for the hookup before I even get to know her, she's out.  I don't need sex addicts in my life (or any addicts, thankyouverymuch).

So, good gentlemen, stop trying to pursue a one-night-stand with the good ones.  You're ruining it for the rest of us.  If you're a one-night-stand seeker/predator, keep it in the bars, or on Craigslist in the correct section


Ms. Mandy said...

So what do you define as a 'Barskeaze', Sane? Can a barskeaze not also be a nice girl at the same time. Purity is over rated. I always go on how responsible they are with sex, not how much sex or with how many partners.

I have been to Estelle's. And I got laid there too. And yet I've also been in very long monogomus relaitionships too. And I am a nice girl, that will sleep with a guy on the first night. ;)

Chicago said...
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