Wednesday, May 13, 2009

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly

I'm not afraid of criticism. In my regular job, I thrive on it. Criticism helps me look inward and see if I have to make changes to become a better person for myself.

Another blogger came across this site due to a comment I left on her friend's blog.  Here's her sections of her post from a week or so ago, titled No Offense Sarah.

So I was catching up on my friends and noticed some guy had been commenting. I'm not sure if he's her friend, or family, or "short term lover" (more on that in a moment), but of course I staked him out. It was...interesting. Here are my favorite parts:

I don't know Sarah, have likely never met her, and probably never will.  Being from Chicago, it is quite rare for me to come across Chicago bloggers.  I'd say 5% of those I follow are local boys and girls.  So don't worry, I'm not a part of Sarah's life.

I just love the fact that he said "Princesses lose their shine" and also that a lot of his writing reminds me of my good friend Justin. Part of me is just pretending this blog is his

I get this alot actually: that my writing reminds them of someone.  I'd say about 10 people in my real life know about this site, other than people I've written about.  If I write about someone, I tell them how to find it.

He's talking about sleeping around. Isn't he such "a natural gentlemen"?

I've been with 5 women total in the past few years.  To me, that's not sleeping around.  At the very least, it's not whoring it around.  I take offense at the idea that sex should always be about love and monogamy and all that.  I don't sleep around; if I take a lover, she's my one and only until the relationship is over.  We may not date, we may not live together, we may not be in love, but the sex aspect is something we both need and probably fulfill well with each other.

I'm no Casanova, for sure.

I also don't even want to think about the multiple uses of the term "short term lover" or the reference to "passionate lovemaking." I remember one time when I guy told me he "wanted to make love to me." We were drunk and I ran laughing into the bathroom where my friends were smoking cigarettes to tell them the story. Next thing I remember was waking up the next morning awkwardly beside him and still a virgin (thank god).

Here's what I write about alot: not picking up women who are drunk (or if I'm drunk).  Here's the thing: I've never felt guilt over sex because I don't do it unless we're both basically clear-headed, or if the idea to sleep together came up before we both drank.  You will never find yourself in bed next to me and go "Oh, shit."  I am a gentleman, even if I think sex can be casual and fun when life is too busy for a relationship.  Or would you rather get into a relationship with a guy you end up hating and despising, feeling like you wasted another year of your life?  No, thanks.

His next post starts off with a great description of himself which includes a very nice namedrop of French Connection (he might as well have said American Eagle or Pac Sun, namedropping jeans is bad enough). He then continues on with this:

I write brand names not to brag, but so I remember myself what I was wearing then.  I talk about it on my site alot: I write so I don't forget.  French Connection jeans fit me well and are easy to tailor, so I like remembering what brands I like.  I also have bought Target jeans.

I feel like I'm reading young adult fiction, the JPP story. But only if Johnny Depp had been replaced with Wolverine or Nicholas Cage.

Haha, I've been compared to both of those, too, for some strange reason.

That really just sums up the whole blog pretty well. 

That's pretty true.  I label things for my own purposes rather than to aid others in finding like topics.  Most of my labels are singularly unique and only point to one article, unless I err and accidentally reuse one.  It's not a big deal.

I never intended people to read the blog, honestly.  I have other blogs I edit or maintain or write for with way more traffic, that pays my bills nicely.  This one is just a personal recap of important events.  It's only been restarted for the past month but I'm getting a regular 100 visitors a day, which I appreciate because of the kind and critical comments left.  Including yours.


Amy said...

Wow, sounds like someone had a really bad day and decided to take it out on you. No idea why someone would go off on a blogger they don't know, but the world is full of all kinds, I guess.

She just seems to be rather pedantic and predatory about your posts. Plenty of other people (including me) obviously still love your blog though.

ChicagoSane said...

First, Amy, thanks for the support. It's important to me.

But I don't look at her comments are negative, really. She won't read me, probably neither of them will. That's fine. My material is not for everyone, and I'm OK with that.

It matters to me that people are critical, because it helps me inflect better at my own writing style from the perspective of negative criticism. Maybe her points were accurate. It won't cause me to change, but I appreciate negative criticisms as much as positive compliments.

To each his (her) own.

Andy said...

I have a blogging policy : "Don't like it? Don't read it."

My blog is MY space, MY corner, and I'm not writing for anyone else but me. If people read and comment, that's great. If not, it wasn't the original plan.

One word though : BITCHY!

Tessa said...

I started my blog purely for me, but having garnered regular readers who aren't my friends but total strangers who have decided to keep coming back for more...the process has changed, even if it hasn't. I still write for me, but knowledge of my audience has brought some censorship into play.

So far, only friendly and fun people have staked out the blog, and they've been light on judgement. I've been lucky.