Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Part of a new and ongoing daily series on dating for men and women.
It's my firm belief that men should pick options and let women decide. Indecisive men are losers, but men who are too decisive can be assholes. By coming up with contrasting options, usually two but limited to three on rare occasions, you'll have a mark of confidence that can't be beat.
This works on dates, in bed (or against the car, in my case), and even in times of stress and argument.
Find yourself a bunch of bars, alone. Visit them during the week and on the weekend. Watch for table access, befriend the doorman and get his name. Meet a bartender (preferably female) and tip well. Learn if they're a beer bar or a cocktail bartender; this is not obvious from the type of bar you're in.
Once you've visited a dozen or two, pick your top 5. Now pick 2: one bartender with a preference for beer pours and selecting, one who makes great cocktails.
When you're on a date and she wants to drink, ask her "beer or cocktails?" Then go. It helps to know a bartender's schedule: tell your bartender you love her service and plan on bringing dates. Note: this has also giving me opportunities to score with bartenders (I've never accepted the offers, but I'll write about them in the future).
Having a cute female bartender who serves you fast and first is a great way to show that you're an interesting guy to your dates.
In bed, I like to tease by offering a girl two options: touch/suck/bite a nipple or not. I'll get close, but she has to pick. If she doesn't force herself on my mouth or lips or hands, I don't touch. The same is true with her clit, her mouth and her ass. Get close, breath soft, and let her make her decision. Do note that you'll come too fast initially doing this; it's just as hot for you as it is for her. Test it on your fuck buddy or sugar baby.
Visit many restaurants, alone, so you can ask "Parisian or burgers?" Hit the botanical gardens and the museums and propose "Flowers or paintings?" Try out local fruit markets and delis, "Cheese or mangos?"
By offering two options, you're almost guaranteed a great date. Don't give specifics until you arrive, just stay generic.
She'll love you for it, and it'll keep things interesting.
By the way, if you can't get head or get her to try something new in bed, offering options is amazing. If she touches your knees or thighs, "Ohh, that's good right there, I want your mouth there right now." While she's tickling your kneecap or thigh with her tongue, she's thinking about putting it a little higher.