Thursday, May 7, 2009

Me and Masturbation: I don't do it often

Ms. Mandy left a comment that I should just go out and get laid, or at least jerk off.  I've contemplated both, but have my own reasons for not doing the first.


In terms of the second, I don't do it often because I'm too good at it, and it ruins my sex drive for a day.  I like being horny when I'm not getting any.  I like being hornier when I am getting some or a lot.  Masturbation throws that off for me.

I still do it, often enough, to at least clear things out.  But that's the other catch: I like to save up the manjuice for a lovely lady rather than waste it on Sexy Miss Kleenex.  It's good stuff, my diet includes enough secret ingredients to make it taste great, and it sets the tone for a woman's chances with me in the long run.

I do play with Little Fire Hydrant (the nickname given to it by an old friend and lover) when I'm with someone else, or phone sexing.  In that case, I get too turned on not to.  Speaking of mutual masturbation, maybe that's what I need right now rather than a FWB or a regular gig.  I've had only 2 females who I only mutually jerked off with, and it was always hot.  Why didn't we have sex?  Mostly to keep things uncomplicated.  But it was very, very hot.  One sweet young thing I had a 9 months "touch ourselves" friendship with would tell me about the guys she was banging, I'd tell her my stories, and we'd get riled up online and end up meeting and taking care of our own needs.  She ended up covered in what I gave her (her request) but she never actually touched it: no hands, no mouth, no bottom love.  We only stopped when she moved, but she'll still call to hear my voice and ask me to get her riled up.

The odd thing is, I think masturbation is way more important for a woman than a man.  In my case, it gets me settled so I don't get horny constantly.  In a woman's case, I think it does the opposite (in my opinion): she gets MORE horny for a man.  It's probably part physical and part mental, but the women I know who take care of business the most are the ones who tell me they need a man the most.

So that's pretty much my story about why Little Fire Hydrant doesn't get opened up too often for a draining.  Although he did last night with my phone call to Celine, and I know she handled her end just fine, too.  Speaking of phone calls, I'm going to post my phone number on my sidebar in the next day or so, feel free to drop me a line if you're bored.  No, not for phone sex, just to say hi.  It's toll-free anyway.

10 comments:

The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know said...

Secret ingredients? Do tell!

My Other Blog said...

Is this going to be your last post of the day? I can't keep up. I left a comment on your last post. I'm not repeating it here.

ChicagoSane said...

Smart Girl: It's a combination, really. I keep my starches to a minimum (starches convert to sugar in the blood, but the conversion leaves behind salts, fermentation leftovers, and other gross tasting flavors), throw in some bitter fruits (pineapple, kiwi, lime, etc) which actually add sweetness to my sweat and cum, add in a higher fat diet (fat converts to a more creamier flavor) and watch my smoking if possible.

I've been told by quite a few women in my life that it tastes so different from other men and its almost addicting. If I smoke alot, or drink beer (not cocktails) and eat bread, the flavor goes rank fast, according to trials I've had.

MOB: Sorry, it's been a hectic day and I had a lot of stuff to put out there. I think I have one more to write and then I'm done!

labeezo said...

I wish more men paid attention to things like how what they eat can affect their flavor...I'd wager that lots of people, regardless of gender, are clueless about such a thing.

ChicagoSane said...

Labeezo,

My favorite way to finish is in a girl's mouth, for sure. I'll always inquire and ask for honesty there. If it tastes bad, it's always a recent diet change.

I actually prefer to finish on a woman's face or tits, but I save that for the 9s and 10s I bed. It's a shortfall, I know, and I've made more than one woman mad when they wanted it there and I refused (and they later found out my reason for withholding).

Guys SHOULD figure it out. If you can get it to taste good, it can add some really hot and sexy play to your sex life.

ChicagoSane said...

Labeezo,

My favorite way to finish is in a girl's mouth, for sure. I'll always inquire and ask for honesty there. If it tastes bad, it's always a recent diet change.

I actually prefer to finish on a woman's face or tits, but I save that for the 9s and 10s I bed. It's a shortfall, I know, and I've made more than one woman mad when they wanted it there and I refused (and they later found out my reason for withholding).

Guys SHOULD figure it out. If you can get it to taste good, it can add some really hot and sexy play to your sex life.

Andy said...

I'm with labeezo. Guy should be more considerate in this aspect.

(PS. having so much fun reading and writing. it's like Disneyworld-kind-of-fun but r-rated version.)

ChicagoSane said...

Most guys have no idea. Sadly, women too sometimes have no idea, and with a woman it can be far, far worse.

I've been told by quite a few women that I have a great musky/sweet scent to my body. It's diet, too.

As for the R-rated Disney interaction, I agree! Since I've told other people I know about the site (and they've visited and emailed me about it), I've contemplated turning the vulgarity down a notch. I wrote an article more lightly, but I HATED how it turned out.

So the sexiness stays. I even received two emails from women who seem to be plain-jane nonsexual who told me they had to take care of business after reading one of my posts. That, by itself, makes it all worthwhile.

Tessa said...

I like to save up the manjuice for a lovely lady rather than waste it on Sexy Miss Kleenex. This cracked me up. And is still cracking me up.

ChicagoSane said...

Haha!

Well, I'm not the only one who thinks it, but I'm one of few who says it. What surprises me is how many women seem to agree with it, and how many women find it repulsive.

Buttons to push, I guess