Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sex drought, sex hurricane, where's Skilling now?

I went through a bit of a sex drought from November to April.  November was one of those crazy months where I finished having sex with my previous friend-with-benefits and then had 2 hookups with amazing out-of-my-league women I knew in some manner in my life.  Both were sexy and gorgeous, and both would be great FWBs if not for the boyfriends in their lives being decent guys.  How I wish either of their boyfriends were total losers so I could keep banging away at them when they needed it, but still be free to work hard, travel, and have fun with good folks.  Ah, well.

After November, the Chicago cold gor to me and I hit the road for 4 months to warmer weather.  There was NO sex and not even smooching when I was away.  I was working on some writing, sitting at beaches drinking fru-fru drinks with umbrellas, and just relaxing.  It would have been nice to get laid, but I hate vacation sex, really.  There was one gal (my waitress at the local greasy spoon) who I was into, but she denied me twice so I stopped trying.

Upon returning home to Chicago, the drought continued.  Meeting women is not the problem, finding decent women who I actually find attractive is near impossible.  My standards are high, but not typical guy standards.  My idea of hot and beautiful has almost nothing to do with social norms: she needs to be able to dresss well (on occasion), carry herself tall and confident, be able to smile, and be teasingly physical with me.  Women who don't want their hands on me are not women I waste time with.  I'm only into those who show their attraction to me through touches and smiles and laughs.

April was stagnant, and it was getting the best of me.  I was meeting mostly dirty whorish women, and I'm not one to take a whore up on a sexual advance if I think I'll regret it.  It's just sex, I know, but where are the good writers, where were the women who can spell and add and dress themselves up for a night out?  Non-existent.

Then the run of attractive and interesting women came.  First there was Kerry, who I tried to have sex with.  Then there was Stace, who I finally did commit an amazing early-night to.  But looking back, 5 women in my bed over 20 months or so isn't really THAT much.  And after a great night with Stace, I really think those floodgates are broken open.  I can lay pipe 5 times in a day, and yet there's no ground to dig.

For me, a friends-with-benefits situation would be perfect.  Even a long distance one (I can afford to travel weekly for pleasure).  But my brain just isn't interested in meeting people and dating people and spending time to get to know them.  I don't do NSA hookups, I don't pick up girls at bars, and I hate dating sites.  I need to get out more, for sure, but I have more fun with friends than I do going solo lately.  If I'm with friends, I'm usually so focused on having fun with them that I forget about scouting the scene for a cute gal who at least looks intelligent and might have even given her outfit 3 seconds thought before going out.

So meterologically, it was drought then hurricane then drought.  I have to face the facts: I'm an attractive guy, I'm a great lover, I'm mysterious and interesting and a great listener.  These are all bonus points for meeting an acceptable woman.  But the negatives seem to outweigh the positives: I'm NOT looking for a girlfriend, I'm not looking for NSA random hookups, I'm not interested in dating 50 women for 1-2 dates each only to find one who is available to my needs and me hers.  I've received some propositions in the past 2 weeks, but who knows if they're real or just teasing.

As I say, the floodgates have opened wide, but I have no idea where the river is headed or even if I want to jump on a boat and ride the flood to an acceptable finish.

I guess I'll see where it takes me for a short while, and if that doesn't get me anywhere conclusive, I'll resort to a lowering of standards in summer.

One simple request: women, get out of your damn apartments more so I can meet you.  I'm certain the great ones are holed up, maybe even reading this.


Celine de Chicago said...

Meet women through friends.

ChicagoSane said...

That is usually a good option, but many of my friends are holed up due to unemployment, ravaging debt or a significant other than doesn't like them going out for whatever reason.

I hope I didn't come across as complaining, just airing my own head and heart so I can review the progress as the year progresses.

It's almost the middle of May, it's spring, we're all horny, and there's almost no reasonable opportunities? Something's amiss.

My Other Blog said...

I'm going to have to call you sometime.

Celine de Chicago said...

He's incredible on the phone. Just as good as in real life. I hate the number, B, it's annoying. How about 800-CHICAGO? I'm sure it's taken. 800-CHISANE?

~liz~ said...

i like the banging away when they need it part a lot. 5 girls in a year and a half? that isnt a lot at all and you know you could have many more. stop being so damn picky!

Andy said...

*sigh* Ah, pickiness.

It's hard to avoid it when you really know what you want.