Sunday, May 24, 2009
Is it Sunday afternoon? Geez, the weekend flew by.
Up EARLY for work (I cut payroll). No one wanted to work so I let everyone off at 11.
Had an amazing lunch (French bistro - Cyrano's), 4 course meal. Found a lovely lady who was free, so we had lunch, chatted, made promises to hang out more, and cut bait. She's very pretty, but sadly has no eyes for me, so it ended with a hug. I am starting to realize that I have way too many cute/pretty/hot single female friends. Summer will be time to cut about half of them out of my life. I have enough lunch buddies, losing a few who are uninterested in an afternoon smoochfest is probably wise and will cost me very little in terms of viable friends to chill with.
Got the car washed (inside, not out). Need a good wax job, put it on the list and made an appointment for Wednesday. We'll see if I remember it.
Rounding up to 3pm, tried to find anyone who was in town to do something with. Texted about 30 people, 26 of them were out of town. Ugh. Made plans with another gal pal to help her with errands later (dog walking) around 7pm.
Hit Whole Foods to pick up ingredients to make a friend a cashew and maple cheesecake. Also had to buy a cheesecake pan because mine was bashed out of shape. Unfortunate.
Around 4pm, driving around town, I noticed SO many cute and happy couples. Had a minute of the lonely-twinge, but it passed. It comes mostly in spring, which is why it makes sense for me to stay out of the sack with anyone just in case I accidentally create a long term relationship when neither of us are ready.
I have an email address dedicated to items I ship or that are shipped to me. It beeped, reminding me of a FedEx overnight delivery coming: my new voiceover mic. My neighbor was going to sign for it, but he texted me to let me know he was leaving for 4 days at 6pm. That means traffic. On a holiday weekend. I drove, slowly, back to the house.
Hung out at the house and tried to finalize plans, but most of my douchebag friends are broke. One gal who I am sort of interested in texted me to see if we were hanging out. I texted back, asking if it was just us. "Group thing." I don't do group dates, sorry. I texted her back that we'd touch base another time. I doubt she'll text again. Thanks, but no thanks.
Banged on my neighbor's door for 2 hours or so. He was asleep. I had to be at the dog walking friend's place at 7pm, and it was inching on 6pm. Her place is 15 minutes away with no traffic, but on a holiday weekend the Kennedy can be horrific. He finally stumbles away at 6:20, I grab my mic, quickly open the box to stare at it. I contemplate blowing off the dogwalker, but I'd rather walk some dogs with a cute gal than sit and talk to myself in one of my 47 voices. Trust me, neighbors have thought I had big parties when it was just me.
Hit the road close to 6:30, with a deadline of 7pm. I really, really like to be on time. I texted the gal and made a case for breaking the law. Yes, I drive on the shoulder on the highway. I'm that asshole.
Pull up to within a block of the destination she gave me (an intersection) and texted her where to park. She gave me a vague area to park in. I zipped into the spot and arrived at 7:04pm or so. Not too late. She was going to walk the dogs toward me, so I wanted at the corner.
5 minutes later, here comes a little package of power with 3 huge dogs. We chatted, I grabbed 2 of them (the older ones) and we wandered her area for quite awhile. I love dogs, and dogs usually love (and listen to) me. My next girlfriend will have a roommate with dogs. Preferably not her, so we can travel on a whim, but a roommate with dogs is a great idea.
My Hollywood voiceover and hockey announcer voice kicks in for some strange reason. I'm having fun, we're being goofy. It's an eccentricity of me; I have no actual normal voice. She laughs at me using the word "poopie" in hockey announcer voice. Laughter from a lady is always a way to cheer me up.
We finish our walk and she drops me off at my car (knowing which one it is because I mentioned the color). She wanders off with the 3 pooches, and I storm off in a hurry to nowhere. Boredom sets in very quickly. A little earlier my two gayest friends said they want to go dancing. I concur. Around 9:30 I get to one of my gal pal's houses in the Pilsen district to grab her. She's VERY sexy, but alas I don't find her attractive. She's propositioned me a few times for a sleep over, but I'm not into her body or face that much. She is sexy as hell, just not my type of sexy. She wants to go dancing, so we high-tail it to the House of Two Gays.
I pulled out $500 from my ATM just in case the night gets crazy. 4 of us in a car heading to Polish town. We arrive at a huge dance club packed with gorgeous European women and their fivehead boyfriends. Yum and gross, combined.
I buy a bottle of Belvedere for our table which is very quickly sucked down by the 4some. $250 gone. Waitress smooches me for the tip (ugh), and we leave the table for another party because we're off dancing.
My gay friend Miguel steals my cell phone and sends some tweets out. Then he texts practically every girl in my phone "Let's fuck." Saturday is basically a day of turning down those who said "Ok" and explaining to my MOTHER what that text meant. Oh, my sister, my cousin, one of my clients, and a few girls I was actually interested in brutalizing (in a way they want me to). Scratch that.
We were VERY hammered. My gal pal meets a guy who is absolutely disgusting looking in every way. I say nothing, and she says "He's hot. I'm going home with him." He was NOT hot, but I have better taste in men than most single women in their 20s do. The guy was an obvious basket case, 3 of his credit cards getting declined for $14 worth of drinks. They leave.
My gay friends also meet their own boys and leave. I'm drunkish, but not wasted. I call a cab and tell him to bring a pal. They drive me, and my car, home. The cab stand is literally 3 blocks from my apartment anyway.
3am, off to bed. Chat with some friends before I do, and realize I REALLY need to meet someone fantastic for this summer. Being single SUCKS. Hooking up SUCKS MORE. I'd love a friends-with-benefits that I can also spoil on my weekly shopping sprees. not a sugar baby, just a friend who likes pretty things. Will have to put my mind to it soon, it's becoming a shitty spring in terms of makeout sessions and the backlog from the Condom of the Month club (kidding about that).
More on Saturday in Part II.