Sunday, May 24, 2009
In a Google Talk chat with a new friend, she mentioned how I seem to like to spoil my women, and how she wouldn't like it because she likes her independence.
I took slight issue with her view on spoiling, because it has nothing to do with overwhelming a woman or taking away even a bit of her character. It's not about changing her, it's not about molding her.
When I spoil a woman, I do so to highlight the parts of her that I like most. It has little to do with her needs, really.
If I buy a woman nice clothes, it's because I want to see her look nice: for me.
If I take a woman to a nice dinner, it's because I want the companionship of a lovely lady at a dinner I would like.
I spoil, yes, but I prefer independent women.
I spoil by treating her like a woman, but not like a baby or a girl. Too many nice guys try to spoil by overdoing it, which is horrible. I'm not a nice guy. I know what my needs are, and I fully expect to have them fulfilled, or I hit the road. I don't intimidate or push what my needs are; I wait to see if the independent woman I am with can read my needs and fulfill them because she wants to, or she likes to.
I spoil a woman by how I look at her face, forcing her to step up her game for me to notice more than it. Women love to command attention, but once they get it, they're usually a little underwhelmed.
I spoil a woman in bed by forcing her to want my touch more, to want me for just another minute. I spoil her after we have sex because I know when she's just past the breaking point of enough, but is laying there amazed at what her body can do and what I can do to her body.
I spoil a woman with conversation that is interesting to her, and then obviously interesting to me. I don't talk about myself, I let her talk about what she has inside of her. Women are verbal creatures, they need to vent and air and laugh about things.
I spoil a woman by being a man who leads, but giving her limited choices to direct. A woman needs a producer, a man needs a director. Women who are attracted to me love to grab my arm and let me lead them. They love to grab my face to kiss me, or grab my ass to pull me in deeper or for a longer period of time or a pause.
I spoil a woman not by giving her compliments that mean nothing or gifts that are contrived. When I compliment a woman, it will mean so much more because it is rare. When I give a gift to a woman, it will be something thought out, something she was missing or needed but didn't realize. I will learn her so I can treat her to the nice things that I want her to have.
I spoil a woman by listening when she's sad, not interjecting my male-views on her problems. I spoil a woman by understanding that a kiss is not a fuck, a hug is not a kiss, and rolling around making out on the couch may just be a great way to say bye until next time.
I love to spoil a woman. The damned problem is that most women I know are just girls, and they're so messed up that even they don't know what they want. Even worse, they prefer to be messed up rather than take the obvious task of working on their issues (something I am actually quite good at assisting in).