Monday, May 18, 2009
I love the emails I'm getting, the random chats (see sidebar) when you're bored and I'm around. It's good to hear that some people, single, married, dating, are working to reignite their sex lives and finding out is isn't that much work.
Here's a (true) story from someone who found this site and used it as their muse to reignite the passion in their marriage. Please leave comments (anonymously, if necessary) and let her know that she's doing a good thing.
Seriously, I have no idea why I am emailing you but I know that I have been reading your blog (ever see a million hits from the outskirts of Portland? That’s me) and I guess what I want to say is that I can’t thank you enough for the impact you have had on my sex life with my husband. You mentioned you have a lot of moms visiting your site. I have a feeling I am not the only one who needed your help, and if I am, maybe they will google phrases like “passion in marriage” or “married sex” and come up with this post right here and st art reading, which in turn will help them too. Which is funny since you aren’t married and from the sound of it, us marrieds are having sex a lot more frequently than you are.
The thing I wanted to tell you about was my night last night. When I was dating and screwing around, this story might not have been as worthy of telling, but what you might not understand is that 8 years of marriage and 2 kids and 3 dogs and all the other humdrum shit that comes along with this suburban existence takes its toll on the passion levels.
Now, I have to like pre-defend my husband here, who is a really great guy and a really great husband, helpful around the house, love love love love loves me, great dad, the whole 9. We are still very much in love -- well, moreso – than we ever were. We have this family and this apartment and we screw from time to time and make love from time to time and catch a quickie whenever we can. Every once in a while, we fuck like we used to. Mostly, we get each other off which is most definitely not the same thing.
Prior to starting our family, we used to have pretty kinky sex. Once we had kids, our sex became lovemaking. We were gentler with each other. We were careful. Mostly, we became efficient (gotta get the orgasms in before the baby starts to cry or the toddler comes toddling). And while it’s been nice, it’s been predictable and a little boring. I missed the intensity.
Reading your blog has reminded me of the one thing, sexually, that my husband has been really clueless about, which is that my hugest turn-on is to be completely submissive. We have been having these talks lately, mostly in order to avoid the next inevitable step of going to counseling, to work through some issues. Each of us puts an issue in the jar. During the first few weeks of this, we worked through some of the big issues in our marriage, family, discipline, that kind of stuff.
Last week, my piece of paper got pulled from the jar: SEX. I finally had to find the language – and this is where you come in opening the lines of communication – to tell him about this part of myself – the thing he had never really registered. He admitted that he always saw me as such a strong, independent and fiery woman – it never occurred to him that I enjoyed being submissive – he thought it was something I would sort of pretend to enjoy on occasion for his benefit but that unless I was calling the shots I probably wasn’t all that interested. This is hard to believe – that he could have missed all the signs that confirmed how much I love being told what to do, spanked, dominated, cum on, pushed to my knees and told to suck him. I just honestly was floored that he had missed how much I was enjoying these things too. I guess what I am getting at is that we never actually talked about what turns us on -- we just got consumed by the other things we had to deal with. And we expected each other to read minds. Which never works, right?
So the past few weeks have been hot around here. And the man finally got the message that I wanted to be romanced and he arranged for a sitter and took me out to dinner. Of course, by the time we got to the restaurant I was practically in heat and couldn’t keep my foot off his crotch. At one point, our conversation took a very un-hot turn and we laughed about how we got off track. I looked him deep in the eyes and told him to tell me what he likes. He surprised me with his immediate answer.
“I like it when you come,” he said, tilting his head slightly without breaking the gaze. “On my face.”
Now, I know he likes this (and trust me, I feel like I hit the lottery) but to hear him say it out loud sent shockwaves through my body. I told we needed to leave the restaurant N.O.W. (he couldn’t exactly stand up at that exact moment, but a few minutes later…)
He paid, we left and on the way out I discreetly grabbed hi s cock (which by the way, apparently felt the way I did) and told him we needed to go park somewhere immediately. It was like I was on some drug, tunnel vision, I need to be sucking on him or I thought I might actually die. My breath had quickened, my face was flushed and all the passion was right back where it belonged.
I got my wish, seconds later, when we pulled into an empty lot and I quickly released him from his clothing and sucked him off hungrily. We haven’t been to church in ages but I am pretty sure I heard him calling out to God. It was unbearably sexy and I think I pierced the upholstery of his car with my heels. It was still light out and we definitely are not turned on by being arrested, so we decided my orgasm (s?) could wait.
We went home, paid the sitter, pretended to be interested in what the kids had to say about their night. Our son is still little but we bribed him into going to bed like a big boy and we managed to get the kids to bed within 30 minutes of getting home.
I wasted no time. I came downstairs to the living room completely naked except for a sheer black string thong, shooting my husband sheepish looks, like he could tell me to do anything and I would do it. He ordered me onto the couch and started kissing me everywhere, kneeling over me. I begged him to feed me his cock, and he obliged. I slipped a finger into his ass just to keep him where I wanted him, which was right there, shoving his cock into my mouth. I could have stayed there forever. He made me finish myself off, he told me to. He said he was going to watch me make myself come while I sucked on him.
I could go on and on about the fucking that followed, but I won’t bore you with the details. Mostly he did exactly what I love the most – took me from behind and pulled my long hair and I think you are getting the picture and this is actually much harder to write than you make it look on your blog, that’s for sure. In the end, I let him have exactly what he wanted, which was for me to come – on his face. The lucky bastard. And I got what I wanted, which w as for him to jerk himself off and come all over me.
Not sure why I feel compelled to write this. Mostly because I don’t share these aspects of my life with people I know, I don’t have a blog, and I don’t keep a journal. I guess I just thought you might be interested to know you’ve had a very positive influence on life around here. Keep up the good work, and thanks.