Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dating single mothers

A recent comment was left from a blogger who found this blog through a comment I posted on a third blog.  I visited Delilah's blog (which covers topics such as mommyness) and realized the article she wrote linking to this site is really a fantastic in for a dating segment that few men realize is just perfect: single moms.

In Delilah's recent post, meditation: mombies, she makes some astute and accurate points about moms in general: they're given attention as mothers, not as women.  While motherhood is an important responsibility, it is just as important to stay a woman.  If you don't, marriages fall apart, things break down, life gets ugly.

Delilah is married (and from halfway across the country), so she's not dateable (but she does wear glasses!).  I've dated single moms before, and it can be a great relationship.  I never seriously dated a single mom, but I probably would've if the mix was right.

Here's a few things to know about single moms (these are generalisms, but in my opinion they stand strong):

  1. Most men are afraid to date them,
  2. They're so focused on being a mom they forgot how to be a sexy woman,
  3. They're frustrated and looking for a short period of freedom and release,
  4. You know they've had sex (this is a joke towards Kerry),
  5. Their needs are far different than the artist hipster girl or the hot model girl,
  6. They need to have fun more than any other woman you'll meet.
I have 2 single mom friends, one who asks me to watch her kids about once or twice a month.  I haven't dated either, but both have propositioned me for just sex (I turned both down due to circumstances).  I also know both of them are constantly horny, but don't want to bring just any guy home and have their kids call him daddy in 5 dates.  It's tough, because the kids come first, and it's hard to make time to date.

Yet being a single mom is no different than being a married mom when it comes to making time: both need sitters, both need trustworthy family who can handle the kids on occasion, both need to go out on dates (either with another male, or their husband).

If you meet a woman who admits to having kids, don't be afraid.  I'll usually ask: "Do you have a good sitter?"  If they do, score!  You've got (a) a woman who is interested in you and (b) a woman who isn't getting enough attention from other guys.  It's like having your own desert island to yourself, but there's hundreds of women on it, too.

I'm not saying take advantage of single mothers, though.  I think it's more important to just open your mind to the idea of it.  You don't have to meet her kids, you can do things slightly more exciting (she is limited in time and the amount she can spend with you, so you have to make it count), and if you end up in a sexual relationship, you may be lucky enough to find a fuck buddy rather than someone wanting a commitment right now.

One other thing: other than the Octomom and Palin's daughter, most mom's I've met really have their heads together.  They have to, they're moms.


~liz~ said...

i only know one single mom and shes horny as hell and no guys want to touch her. shes beautiful too.

dont forget to call stace today! or is that next week?

The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know said...

I just stumbled over here, and being a single mom, have a couple things to add. Single moms are more often than not such strong women. How attractive is THAT, my friend? Also, single moms are more selective in who they will date. Just by seeing you, you can surmise that she already likes you a great deal. Dating us can be delicate and complicated, but a mama can be a great catch...more than just great sex.

ChicagoSane said...

Smart Girl:

I hope I didn't sell it as "Single moms are easy lays." If so, I'll edit.

I think they're just great women to date because so many men are idiots and avoid them. This means it's a better option for guys who have a hard time dating.

Thanks for your input, appreciate it greatly. Will check your blog out today.

Andy said...

I complete my previous comment : you can't have a relationship based on sex or on the other person wearing hot red glasses.

ChicagoSane said...

Oh, I think I'd have a long, ongoing just-sex relationship just BECAUSE of red glasses.

I'm posting a follow up to your comment on the other post to. I agree to a point, disagree slightly.