Sunday, November 9, 2008

Suck buddy worth her salt

My new almost-beer buddy contacted me yesterday. I had promised an ex-girlfriend (Theresa) a night of video games and vino at her new apartment, to meet her new roommate. But the beer buddy texted me twice, once to offer to hang out, and then a follow up to promise no physical desire.

She gave me head the first time we met, and it was fantastic, but I'm just not interested in a girl who only wants me for my sexiness. A friend, partner-in-crime, that's what I'm seeking.

So I call Theresa, modify our plans from a long night to an early dinner at her place. She's fine with it.

I cab to Theresa's, and when she answers the door I forgot how beautiful she was. I can't really remember why we broke up, but I think it was because I wanted more than she could give. I'm fairly certain that I did the breaking up, and that she fought it for a few weeks. Since then, a few years later, we've been decent friends. Her boyfriend is a complete loser: I see him all over town with various gross, trolly, mousey girls. Theresa has no clue, and I have no desire to share those details.

Her place is great, her roommate is perfect (student, in bed by 10pm, Iowa farm girl type). I decided to cook, so I looked in the fridge and the pantry and whipped up some chilliquilles. They had nachos, they had eggs, they had some odd dried fish, and all the rest. 30 minutes of prep, 10 minutes of cooking, and dinner was served. Damn fucking good, too.

And that meant I ran late. 8pm, and I promised the beer buddy (Liz) that I'd see her around 9. Of course I won't make it home for a shower, so I beg Theresa to use hers. She's fine with it, so I shower, using her terrible Aveda shampoo, and hit the road.

I get to the bar where I'm meeting Liz early, amazingly, and she's already there. She's dressed in sweats, which is perfect because I jerked off twice thinking about her nice body from the previous night.

She gives me a big hug, and her friendly smile is beaming just that: friendliness.

We chat. Her boyfriend was very inquisitive about me. I wonder if he noticed any of my spooge on her cheek or chin from the other night. Oops. She belayed his fears, and said that I'm a decent guy and probably gay. So be it.

She's already drinking a beer (Pabst, ugh!), so I order a double Ketel with lemon and drink slow to match her pace. We chatted about the week ahead: snow, cold, boredom, nothing good on TV or at the movies, no concerts worth attending, and about 90% of our friends too broke to go out. I didn't tell her that I have cash up to my ears and no one to spend it on, because she's not sugar baby material, and I'd rather feign being semi-poor. It works better.

After Liz's first beer, I order us both some whiskey and sodas. Those are gone in a half hour, at which point I'm a bit weak-headed from not eating enough (Theresa and her roommate ate most of the chilliquilles). I offer to go to Webster Wine Bar, and Liz jumps at the chance. They have great finger food.

We hop a cab and end up at Webster around 11pm. It's busy, but nothing like last year. Economic pain, I guess. I order my favorite bottle of wine (around $60) and Liz asks "How much is that?" I lie: $25.

Poor girl is now mixing all 3 types of alcohol. Dangerous for some, but she takes it in stride. We're laughing now, mostly because we look completely out of place in a wine bar on a Saturday night. She's dressed in sweats, and I'm in really poor looking jeans and a t-shirt (which cost me over $400 together). Midnight rolls around and the place dies down a bit, gets packed, then dies down again. Up and down all night. Liz and I share a couple of plates of finger food, and it's amazing, as Webster always is.

Liz is starting to look VERY cute. I notice an almost-dimple, and her face is precious. Plus her lips keep reminding me of her little send-off gift for me just a few days earlier. Kari didn't want to see me tonight, so I figured I'd have a weekend of porn and wanking. When it comes to porn, I really prefer the amateur stuff over the pro stuff, smaller boobs versus big fake ones. Kari, though, prefers the opposite. We don't share a similar taste in porn.

Liz looks at her phone for the first time, and she has 3 texts from her boyfriend. Oh, oh. She excuses herself (good girl!) to text him from the bathroom. I tab out, so she doesn't see the total of the night ($115 with tip).

Liz returns with a pout: she has to go. Boyfriend isn't happy that she ignored him, but she told him that she left her phone in silent. I prefer a girl, even a friend, who ignores their cell phone when they're out with others. I turn my off. Fuck those who aren't with me when I'm out having fun with friends.

So we hop a cab and zip back to my place to grab my car. We're both sober. I wanted to pick up my car since I figured I'd zip out on the highway to just do a mini late night road trip. No point in wasting a decent night in the house, bored. Fresh tunes on the iPod, full tank of gas, and a new air freshener. Perfect. I tell Liz this, and she's jealous that she'll be at her place with her boyfriend.

I drop her off, right in front. No smooch or offer for head, but a lot of knee touches and she even touched my hair a few times. Whoa.

Wait for her to go in, then zip off. 10 minutes after I'm on the Kennedy, she texts me: "He left, had to get up early. Come back and grab me." No problem! A U-turn at Addison, 15 minutes back down the highway and road, and she's hopping back in my car.

She loves my iPod. A great mix of Tom Waits, Public Enemy and Morrissey on my current playlist. We're jamming, and she's definitely fun for a 27 year old, a few years younger than me. Close in generations, though.

We're about 50 miles out of Chicago when she screams "JERKY!" Ahh, a girl who eats meat. Thank god. Sorry, vegans, but you fucking bore me. I can't take you anywhere nice, and I can't cook for you without it tasting like salt. Why not just suck my cock and swallow my load if you want something salty? Ugh.

We pull off the road just past the Illinois/Wisconsin border, and grab jerky, Redbulls, smokes, and some other fun things. Liz grabs a pack of condoms (!!!) and gives me a snarky smile. I assume they're not for me, but I say nothing.

We get back in the car, and instead of getting back on the highway, she points to the left: a seemingly long, dark country road. Fine!

20 minutes of driving down the Wisconsin highway and we reach more of nothing. It's great. We have the heater cranked to maximum, the sunroof open, and wrappers of Slim Jims on the backseat.

We both notice a bright light mist ahead, and driving 70MPH brings us to a gorgeous old farmhouse that is brightly lit. It's in beautiful shape. She thumbs me to pull over, and I do, down a not-quite-a-road dirt path that surely doesn't lead to the house. Probably a tractor access road.

"I should turn around, I bet this goes nowhere," I mention.

"Just put it in park, let's stare at that house." Liz is very forceful, which is good for a beer buddy. Most chicks can't make up their mind anyway, but she can.

We're talking about the house when I notice Liz is pulling her sweatpants down. I do a double-take, surprised because she wasn't flirting or anything.

"Warm, are you?" I say as I look into her eyes. She blushes, but in a sexy way. Off come her panties, next as she holds her eyes on mine.

"Look, I like your dick, and you got it hard twice for me in record time. My boyfriend can't keep it up for even 10 minutes, if he lasts that long. Let's fuck, and then we can go back to being friends."

"I'm not looking for a fuck buddy," I tell her. She nods, and then rubs my cock through my jeans. As she's doing that, she's got her fingers on her pussy, and her soft moans drive me nuts. I roll over to kiss her, slyly pulling the seat lever to lower her flat. I also push the seat back to give me floor space.

"I'm going to go down on you," I tell her, but she shakes her head no. She reaches over her back to the gas station bag, opens the condoms (not Magnums, ugh) and tells me to get out of my pants and boxers. I do.

The poor girl spends about 5 minutes trying to unroll the Trojans on me. When I'm this horny, I'm thicker than usual, so I prefer the extra space of the larger condoms. To the guys who don't know: Magnum boxes are bigger only for shower. The actual condoms are barely 1mm thicker. They're more comfortable.

Finally, I finish putting it on. She grabs my hips with one hand, my cock with the other, and slides me in. Tight, but not too tight. I'm sick of girls who brag about how tight they are, but then cry after an hour of pounding because they can't handle it.

Liz never complained. I know she came once, for sure, and I finished 3 times. Once in her mouth (mostly), once on her stomach (she never took her sweatshirt off but pulled it up for me), and once on her back and asshole. She even squealed when I shoved some spooge in her ass with my finger. Good girl.

We banged for a good 90 minutes, and she loved every minute of it. She may even have orgasmed a second time. The fact is, she loves to drink with me, and go on road trips, but she always likes my cock a lot. I got her to say the filthiest things ("Fuck my ass with that big cock," and "Bang my throat until I choke.") But I still don't want her as a fuck buddy. She's too much fun otherwise, and the fact that her boyfriend stays over once in awhile means she won't call me over for a booty call much.

If I'm going to have a friend-with-benefits, I'd rather her boyfriend live outside of her house. I don't like having a fuck buddy who is single, girls with boring boyfriends are better lays.

We ended up driving almost 200 miles out of Chicago, ending up in Sheboygan or so at 6am. We napped in the car, and woke up around noon. I just dropped her off, and she promised that next time we hang out, it will just be for beers.

And I gave her this link. Hope she reads it today.