Making decisions, something I'm good at

Let's review...

In real life, I have 8 friends who are on me to get laid.  All of them have read about my almost-sex encounter with the lovely but young Kerry.  Two of them are gals I slept with in the past 6 months (which is now my actual amount of time since I had full-on sex, wow).  2 are guys who aren't getting any either.  4 are women I'm friends with.

Online, I have about 15 friends who are on me to get laid.  12 of them have no idea what I look like (I keep flip-flopping about posting my pic, but it's dangerous because of my desire to go friends-with-benefits with a girl who has a guy already).  3 of them do, and have propositioned me already (I won't fly 2-3 hours for sex, usually).  1 lives local and wants to hang out, but she's a lesbian, and I have a tendency to hit on lesbians hard.  Talk about a tease.

I have an on-again off-again fuck buddy (Melissa) who is now single, which is terrible because I'd jump her in 3 minutes, but she'll get clingy.  She doesn't read this site, gets a bit jealous already.  We go back sexually almost 10 years (she's 29).  That's out.

Liz and Celine are both really beautiful, great in bed, and have the character and confidence I like in women.  Celine's boyfriend is too close for comfort to me, I like the guy.  Her and I spoke on the phone last night for 20 minutes.  She's crazy about him, too, but he just can't keep it going past 10 minutes, or he loses it entirely after 2 beers.  I feel bad, because she's way out of my league looks-wise.  Liz's boyfriend is a total dork (sorry, babe), but he loves her completely.  For me, Liz is girlfriend material.  I don't want that kind of entanglement, nor do I like being the other guy with a woman I'd consider dating seriously.

There's Kerry, the virgin.  Of the 3 gals, she probably is the cutest, with Celine being the prettiest and Liz being the hottest.  Kerry's emailed me a few times, and we've chatted on Google Talk a few times.  She wants to get together soon.  I can guarantee, right now, that we will never have sex.  She's just too tight.  That's not worth me getting frustrated over.  So I'm trying to keep that friendly, but she has the kind of face that I just want to...

We have Stace, who I only madeout with.  Nice girl, probably girlfriend material but not for me.  I'm calling her this afternoon to make plans for next week.  Let's see how it goes.

Me?  I'm actually OK with it all.  I'm not in a rush.  It's been awhile, so I want to make sure I'm clear-headed.  I have no problem going to a bar for a hookup, but it isn't me.  I don't like taking girls home from bars.  I prefer meeting completely sober.  Every one night stand I've had in my life has continued into a many-nights-stand, and I like it that way.  I know Celine and I will sleep together again, someday.  The emails she sends me are crazy graphic, I'm BEGGING her to start blogging.  Liz and I, maybe.

Today I asked 5 women for their numbers, got shot down by 2 (one HARSHLY), 1 gave me her email (I tossed it in the trash), 2 gave me their numbers.  I'll call those 2 next week, and see how it goes.  One was 24, one was 29.  Both cute, maybe equal to me in looks.

The upside: there are options.  The downside: I really want either friends-with-benefits (more on the friends side) or a sugar-baby who has shit to do and won't bug me 4 times a day.  I don't want a random one-night stand because when I do finally get it, I'm going to want it a lot more.  I'm meeting more women lately who are becoming good friends, but none of them are really that attractive to me (or attracted to me).

My proclivity to accept "getting beers": a euphemism

So Liz, my beer buddy that I met on Craigslist, sent me an email last night that I will post here, with permission. I would prefer to type [sic] after every sentence, but I will refrain:

hey dude, its spring and we havent spent more than 15 minutes together since we ran into each other this week at that bar. how about we get together saturday night closer to me and we do some real drinking and maybe make fun of the hipsters like you promised? im free, the boyfriend is out for the weekend fishing or hunting or something and im kinda bored with my friends. maybe 9 or so?

I contemplated it all morning and shot back my reply. "Ok. Get dolled up."

It's not that I'm not really interested in spending time with her, honestly kicking back Scotch on the rocks, but I'm fearful of the new chance at developing a fuck buddy relationship, when we both agreed it wasn't a good idea.

Liz is really cute. 27, which is a good age for me. She's fun, and we do have a lot in common. The sex is amazing, and from what I gather it's great for her, too. I've said it before: I like to have regular sex with a woman who has a great boyfriend who is just boring in bed. Some guys can never learn. Liz would be an obvious choice, except for the fact that she's comtemplating moving in with her beau. That's a good choice, he sounds well-rounded and probably is an excellent provider.

So I'll meet her for drinks, for sure. If she's dolled up, which I hope she is, I can always use her as bait to catch the eye of another pretty girl in the same pub. Should that happen, I'm sure she'll be a good wingman. If I meet a pretty girl in a bar, I'm the kind of guy to go up, say hi, chat for 35 seconds and get her number. It won't take from our drinking and poking fun at badly-dressed scenesters that seem to creep into every village and region of Chicago.

The only problem is that I can really use a night of sweaty banging. It's been awhile, and I think it's the right time for sex. It's raining, and there's nothing better than a good rain to knock the power out while I spill my seed multiple times in a humid bedroom. But Liz is out of the question. If I have to fight the urge, I will. She's too much fun to ruin over a just-sex relationship, and she's too involved to be more than a beer buddy.

It's sad that Celine is dating Paulo still, because she's more of a natural meld for that sort of relationship. But, alas, she's definitely sticking to Paulo for the long haul; he has everything a woman can want and is faithful, to boot.

Maybe tonight will just be a night of drinking with a pal and a cab ride home. If so, it's OK. I'm not going to actively look for sex, just like I don't actively look for love. I think the meter is ticking at 5 months, though, but the worst thing I can do is find another used whore in another hipster bar to try to hook up with a few weeks from now.

That settles it: I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow. Whole Foods is, and will continue to be, the best store of under-estrogened women with too much testosterone. It's too bad that store is anti-Splenda, or I'd be there much more often. Here's to xylitol consumption, at least.

And Bea Arthur is dead. That's sad.