Thursday, June 11, 2009
I have a bone to pick, often, regarding sex. People think sex is on my mind all the time. Hint: it isn't. NOTHING is on my mind all the time except what is in front of me, and what I think I need to take care of in the future. Sex is part of my regular thoughts, sure, but I don't look at a woman and say "I'd like to have sex with her." I can't think of ONE woman I've met or scene in recent years where sex was the FIRST thing I thought. Usually, it's "I wonder what bothers her in her life."
But nonetheless, sex is popping up on blogs more than before, it seems. Especially female-written blogs, but some male POV's, too. People are either uptight about not getting any, talking about the convictions of losing their virginity, throwing chairs at plebians who disdain from sexual thought, freaking out about losing the option, or are reinvigorated from re-finding good ole fucking.
So here is my end-all, be-all opinion on sex: it is just sex.
When I buy a Diet Coke from the grocery store, it is me and a store owner swapping things we have for things we want (namely, money for a Diet Coke). We both get something out of it we didn't have before.
The same is true with you and your employer: you're both getting something more valuable for what you give up (time v. money).
Sex, to me, is also an action we trade for something else: maybe it's orgasm, maybe it's money, maybe it's to get backstage at a concert, climb the corporate ladder, or find yourself as a speaking walk-on extra in a soap opera. Either way, sex is an action.
Too many people are high strung about sex. We teach teenager girls that their virginity is something special. It isn't. It's just sex. We teach people that sex should only be done with someone you love. BUZZ, wrong. It's just sex. We hold to a moral fiber that sex should be done as an intimate relation with someone we know. Uhh, no. It's just sex.
I prefer sex with intimacy. I've had very intimate emotional sex with a woman I had known only 48 hours. It was one of my best love affairs and it lasted for months. In the end, it was just sex. The rest of the relationship was wonderful.
I fucked the brainstem completely off of a friend's spinal cord. We'd been friends for 15 years. We never fooled around. We both went through a breakup, fell into the arms of one-another, and tore our kneecaps on her carpeted floor. For two weekends straight. Guess what? Just sex.
When I was young, my father sat me down and explained it to me. He said that sex is really fun, and it isn't something I should be too worried about or focused on. When I meet someone I am attracted to, sex may happen. It may not. He said not to pine about it if it doesn't, that there are billions of fish in the sea. He was right (still is). It's just sex.
Why do we have sex? Sometimes it is because we want to show someone we love them. Other times, it is because our bodies need a cleansing, a pipe-cleaning. Sometimes we do it out of anger towards another person ("the rebound"), or because we're really hormonally-attracted to someone. Sometimes we do it to try to keep someone in our lives, or we do it because we feel we're expected to ("expensive dinner date"). It's all just sex.
Here's the thing that no one knows: sex has been immoralized by the powers that be for thousands of years to control the plebians, the huddled masses, the weak and poor in power. The powers-that-be are strong, have always been strong. They lead our political movements (every party), they lead our religious movements. They head up our medical societies, our educational societies. They're strong people who pretend to care about you, about society. They never want to tell you that it's just sex.
When you control a society's sex drive, you control society. You've been lied to by powerful people. No, it's not some big great conspiracy of people meeting together in a hotel convention hall under protest by left wing anarchists. This is how powerful people think. I know, I work with them. They laugh about it. These powerful people of all positions have sex, and they have it often. They act like pompous, wealthy snobs, but in reality they're fucking everything in sight behind closed doors. To them, it's just sex. Sometimes it's conquest, other times it is just fun. Who cares, it's just sex.
Yes, I know, your religion/educational/parental/political/emotional upbringing wants you to believe there is something special about sex. Only to the underbody of society, which numbers about 96% of citizens of the world. They've been lied to. You've been lied to.
I laugh when people tell me that Barack is just fucking Michelle, or that W was fucking his hag. Right. Those marriages were political from the start. Kennedy, Clinton, Eisenhower, Roosevelt, Johnson: they all had affairs. Many of them. It's part of being powerful. They just cover it up because they have to try to pretend that they care about the moral compass that the rest of society believes is true, even though it was all based on a lie, a desire to control.
It's just sex.
I'm pretty pick about sex. My average, long term, is about 2-3 lovers per year. That includes long term relationships, fuck buddies, friends with benefits, sugar babies, long distance lovers, and four-night-stands. I don't sleep around. Why?
Because I don't have time for it. I don't want to get a disease. I don't want to get someone pregnant. I think sex is better when the partners are both in agreement about the validity of the relationship, on what pedestals it is founded on. I refuse to have sex with people who think that both sexes are equal completely. I refuse to have sex with people who think sex is only about love (even if I love them, dearly). I refuse to have sex with people who have sex to cover up their own damage or baggage or drama or self-hatred. I refuse to have sex with people who abuse their bodies with drugs or overeating or over-exercising or excessive plastic surgery.
So I'm picky, but it's not over sex. I'm picky over relationships of any kind. I turn down 3 out of 4 possible customers because I don't like them. I turn down more women, too, because I don't like them. I laugh at many women and men my friends screw, because they're such worthless drivel that I can't imagine putting my penis in the same room as them, let alone in their body.
But it isn't because I have the mad moral compass of the ignorant majority.
It's just sex. Yes, you're free to believe sex is more than just sex, but it isn't. What your relationship is made of may be far more than just sex, or it might be just sex. Either way, sex is just sex. It isn't something special any more than buying a Diet Coke from the guy at the convenience store, or putting in 8 hours of work for a few bucks from your boss, or whatever other action you barter to gain something.
It's just sex, and the faster society realizes they're being duped, the faster they can change themselves to become more powerful, financially stable, and limitless in what they as individuals can do.
Until then, listen to your pastors, your presidents, your doctors, your psychiatrists, your lawyers, your teachers, and all the other people who are duping you from reality. It isn't just sex, it's special. No, really it is. It is so special, you will have it with only one person in your life.