Thursday, June 25, 2009

Getting in your head

My final autopost as my air carrier shuttles me to destination Europe for a 14 hour layover before I head home tomorrow.

Last night I had a lovely dinner with an anonymous blogger. We chatted a bit about ex-love-interests: fuck buddies, significant others, casual flings.

Her run down rankings brought intrigue to my mind. Her fuck buddies were gorgeous, but not really mentally and emotionally challenging. Her most significant others were still prettyboys, but something about them got in her head, more than sexual attraction.

She mentioned that some guys got really close to breaking through her skullgates, but fell short before the relationship ended. Some recent love/sex interests didn't have much of a chance for breaking through the barricade, but those relationships fell apart young.

I know it's not just a woman thing, so I'm asking guys AND gals alike: what causes a love interest to get stuck in your head? How fast does it happen? Do you show signs of being mindraped to them? Do you ever fight it off to try to nip it in the bud, and how?

If you're a regular reader who lurks, jump in with a comment. I allow anonymous comments, so use that feature if you like.


Anonymous said...

I fall hard and fast for guys that make me wonder if they want me. Teases like you, Sane. They can't be completely aloof, but only showing small random signs of sexual interest. I think of them constantly, trying to figure it out. I'm pretty dominant by nature, and uncertainy is one of the few things that tame me. Unfortunately for us both, once the deed is done, not matter how great it may be, some of that je ne sais quoi wears off and I eventually get bored and move on.

It takes a perfect storm of sexual attraction and averageness, wit and charm, and humility and quiet confidence to sustain my interest. Until then, I'm perfectly content with the thrill of the chase.

Cande said...

I agree with Anonymous. It often depends on their interest in me. If I can't figure it out I tend to feel obsessive.

I try not to show many signs of my personal obsession.

I don't know of any way to ignore the "mindrap" except by trying to find someone else to be preoccupied with.

I think that if something is mutually passionate, and wanted, there isn't any reason to get "mindrapped". Unless there is distance involved.

It's the worry that does it to you.

delilah, the unruly helpmeet said...

For me, it's leaving things unfinished and feeling incomplete. The two that hit me the hardest were over 10 years ago, and to this day, I don't know what happened. I like closure, and i'd much rather grow tired of someone else than have them grow tired of me.