Monday, June 8, 2009

Busy season ahead

So this next week or two is CRAZY for me. Consider this:

1. LA
2. Boston
3. New Jersey
4. Rio de Janeiro
5. London
6. Atlanta

Yes, in about 14-16 days. OUCH.

But don't fear. Thanks to a new muse in my life, I have written about 30 true-stories about yours truly that will auto-post daily each morning or so. 12 of them are about previous relationships/lovers, 8 are about business and money matters, 5 are about dating from my perspective, and 5 are things I want to accomplish this summer.

I love to travel. It's extremely exciting for me to get on a plane, I don't care where. I dream, dream, DREAM for a fuck buddy who can take 1-2 days off (or their already off-days) to hop on a plane (my treat) and visit me where I am. This is why distance means NOTHING to me for relationships. (A) I can afford to send people over, and (2) it's always a grand time.

Things that get in the way, though:

1. Dogs. I can't have a girlfriend with a dog. I wish I could, honestly. I love dogs. Women with dogs are relegated to fuck buddy or friends with benefits or sugar baby status. Imagine if I was in NYC, staying in a 5-star hotel suite, with a $500 per diem stipend from my client and the woman can't leave her dog at home? Forget it. Cats are fine. Give em water, food and a clean litter box and get in the fucking limo to the airport 15 minutes later.

2. On-call jobs. I hate this one. I had a friend-with-benefits who had to fly home on $1000 last-minute fare from visiting me because they were called in to their shit jobs. No thanks.

3. Too many guys they're dating. When I'm with someone but it's not at a point of monogamy or dating commitment, I fully expect them to be dating/seeing others. It doesn't bother me, I'm not the jealous type. I guarantee I'm at the top of their list for so many reasons. But if they have a bunch o' boys or men, and they cancel on me after I booked airfare and limo, fuck them in the ear. I don't want to ever do that again. Canceling on me more than once is a deal breaker.

4. People who hate to travel. This one gets to me quickly. You don't want to come to Portland to see me because you hate travel? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

I've got a few things brewing business-wise that may turn my life into a constant state of travel. I'm very excited about it. My handler on the East Coast and my handler in Spain both have a ton of amazing clients for me to field. But the 8 hour travel to Europe can suck if it's for 1 day at a time, so I need to stabilize my billable rate to include a mandatory 5X total-travel-time stipend. If it takes me 8 hours to get there plus 2 hours of airport time each way, that's 20 hours. My minimum billable today is 2 days, but for that sort of trip it should be 100 hours or about 4.5 days. I need to fix this, STAT.

Summer is looking amazing, really amazing. I'm fairly certain that I am going to be dressed to the nines daily. I'm really happy with the white hairs popping out of my head (the ladies seem to love it, too). My car drives well, my apartment is CLEAN and organized, I have more confidence and happiness today than I've had in the past 15 years, and I have things squared away entertainment-wise: tons of shows, theater, opera, museum private events, etc.

Now all I need is a regular mouth to come in or on, a pretty face to take with on dinner dates or theater nights, and a bigger bed at my place. I have no furniture since my kitchen and bath are a few weeks from getting torn out, so I'm going to repaint the bedroom, too, and add more storage and lighting.

Oh, I'm so excited.

What do you have that is exciting this summer? Talk.


Melissa said...

Aw, darn. Except for the dog part and the sex part, I was totally going to jump on a plane and meet you in L.A. Oh well :P

Chicago said...

I'm going to clarify the sex and dog part in a new post :)

labeezo said...

As a woman who had a beloved dog until very recently yet never let it crampy my travel life I say this: dog boarding. Easy as pie.

Tessa said...

Damn you northern hemispherians and your 'summer', I say. I bite my thumb at thee and thine.

I second white hairs being awesome. Can't grow 'em fast enough. (All that insane travel might help.)

ChicagoSane said...

labeezo: I know, and I've wished that the ladies I've dated with dogs would consider it, but they're such "mommies" that they say they won't put their cute pets up for a few nights at the kennel. Ugh.

Tessa: What, you egg?

I've been growing white hairs since I was a teenager, haha. It was still sexy then!

Tessa said...

No egg, just no patience. Took me twenty-five years to grow one white hair. Just the one. Then it fell out and I had to start again. Most disheartening.

ChicagoSane said...

That IS disheartening. I loooove a woman with a few white hairs, especially the younger broads, haha.

Are you parents grey yet?

Tessa said...

They passed grey some time ago, and are well into blinding and fluffy white. My genetics cannot fail me. (I'll be mighty miffed if they do.)