A new home, a fresh look

I finally finished a move I had been planning for over 2 years.  My old residence was in a neighborhood that was gentrifying too much for my taste.  The last straw was when a married couple with a baby and 2 dogs moved into the condo above mine.  C'est la vie, I'm outta there.

The new neighborhood I'm living in has a lot of perfection to it for me: it's still "off the radar".  I own a warehouse space in the neighborhood and one of my front companies operates out of there, so making a new home wasn't too difficult: put up a gigantic wall, create a home in the back 40%.  It really is perfect: no one knows its a home, and I can slip in and out through the alley discretely.  Plus, I don't plan on having friends visit regularly, so I have my own little island right on the raging sea that I call Chicago.

I have my bedroom built, a guest room, a private bathroom, a nice little kitchen and eating area, and a living room.  It isn't too bad, and the privacy is amazing.  There's an attached apartment building upstairs from my warehouse, so if I want to meet the neighbors, I have that option.  A private rooftop deck adds to my options as well, although it's more "roof" than "deck" at the moment, but changes are coming as I desire them.

With fall ahead, my life is quickly coming to a pace that suits me, as well: the summer was comfortable and relaxing, with most of my time spent at the beach, other than the odd and over-reliable client meeting.  With Europe and South American on my radar for fall and winter, I am certain of good things ahead.

Spring breakups continue

In the past week, another 3 "solid couples" ended their 2-3 year runs, at least according to Facebook.

As I've said for many years, that's no surprise -- what is a surprise is that it's happening at a record pace.

Part of it may be that the recession in the States was keeping people together for affordability reasons; now that the job market is turning around, freedom long desired is finally available.

Another part may be the unbelievably warm winter we had in Chicago -- I missed *every* snow storm due to business and pleasure travel.  When people bed down and move in with someone else because they don't want to socialize in the cold, a warm winter can create problems early on.

Lastly, the emasculization of males continues -- I can't believe what sissies the guys are that some of my gal pals started dating in recent years.  I made a private personal bet that none of those relationships would last, and that all of them would end with the woman leaving the man.  So far, I'm 6-for-7 on those self-bets.

And so it continues...spring in Chicago.

Men and Women Can't Be _________

1. Friends
2. Business Partners
3. Platonic Roommates
4. Married

 I've tried all 4 of these, and I was unsuccessful. Living with women creeps me out because it shows you how messy and lazy a beautiful and successful woman can be. And, it always ends up with sex. Except for the last one, that is.

Going from the bottom to the top:

Marriage ruins both sex and relationships. I know plenty of readers in the past were stay-at-home moms, and just chatting them up lead me to confirm that marriage is only good for one thing: giving women an acceptable provider after they've hit the Wall or feel like they're approaching it. My own marriage because exactly that within 6 months of putting the ring on her finger: we went from shuttling around the world regularly, rubbing elbows with the infamous, to having a beautiful Victorian home, expensive kept yard and plenty of married couple cocktail parties, but absolutely no sex or the drive that we used to have. Boredom crept in practically overnight, and the woman who was my best friend and solid top plate became a woman I hate and still to this day won't answer calls from.

Living together as platonic roommates is one step better than marriage.  That means it's almost as bad.  I've done it 3 times with women that started off (and were supposed to stay) just platonic roommates. In one situation, I rented out an extra room to a couple I knew and was actually friends with.  Never once did I sleep with a female roommate because of alcohol or drugs -- most of the time, it was just random flirtations that became more than flirtation soon enough.  With the couple I lived with, I ended up fucking his girlfriend only 3 months after they had moved in.  He had no clue.  At one point, I had one of my socks shoved in her mouth while I railed her in the bathroom just 15 feet from their bedroom.  Thankfully, the bathroom was a Jack-and-Jill style with two exits: I left through mine, she cleaned up and left through hers, and he drove her to work.

Business partnerships are best between two confident men.  My last relationship that exploded a few years ago was both sexual and financial.  We started off as secret lovers, her boyfriend having cratered in confidence and finances.  When she finally tossed him out, we started a business together.  That lasted all of 6 months before she started sleeping until noon, ignoring every request (and demand) I made of her in terms of work productivity, and eventually her life revolved around fucking me once a week and going out 4 times a week.  When she finally "left me" over meeting a new, interesting guy, she had nothing to show for 2 years of "hard work."  Of course, I still have that particular business, and the guy she left me for left her just days after.  Comical.

Other business relationships I've had also always lead to sex -- I did some management consulting and the customer had hired one of our competitors to co-consult with us.  2 long nights of working late (with our management teams) and retiring to whoever's hotel room was closer was a natural reaction.  We're still competitors even though I'm no longer in the business, but whenever we're in the same town, drinks and the nearest hotel room are a natural way to exhaust the stresses we aired over alcohol-infused conversation.  For the guys: when a woman wants to catch up, she means sexually.  There's no other definition for that term.

Men and women can't be friends.  Harry in "When Harry Met Sally" said this on more than one occasion.  If the woman doesn't show sexual interest, the man will.  If the man doesn't, the woman gets curious as to why he's unique, and she'll need to win over his begging and emotional vomiting to prove that she still has it.  My only female friends are those who are obese or way older than me and probably in menopause.  I recently tripped out with a gal pal who has been just a friend for the past 10 years.  3 nights out of town, 2 of them with her in various positions missed in the Kama Sutra.

Recently an ex-girlfriend of one of my closest friends called me up -- I hadn't seen her in 2 years, and when I had seen her, I think we all hung out maybe 3 times with my buddy.  She wanted to catch up (yeah, of course she did).  Since I had just left my main plate's apartment, I figured I could actually do that -- just catch up.  The fact that she's a bartender and has about 6,000 decent looking bar staff femme friends was a priority I wanted to dig into.

Of course she coerced me to having another round of drinks at her place.  Of course she did.

And before I left in the morning, she had that common question to ask: "So are we friends, or are we doing that again?"

My answer is the one I give all women in my life: "Men and women can't be friends.  Or business partners.  Or roommates.  Or married."

And I walked out her door.
---

Hit me up on Facebook.

Inept dysfunction

I've always found it curious when a woman I'm attracted to but is in what appears to be an amazing relationship hits me up on Facebook to chat within 24 hours of a breakup. Never do I show any attraction to these women, I am just some random guy they met at a party of mutual friends. I wouldn't say I'm boundary-limited, of course, but these are always women who truly appear to be happy and comfortable with the guy they're with.

It's spring here in Chicago -- that means the alpha in a dominant person in a relationship has a good chance of pushing out the submissive party. I've considered this for years through just watching relationships crumble come April. Typically, submissive people will seek out new partners before the winter, but those relationships fall apart when the stronger party realizes they want to get out and taste new flavors.

In this case, Ellen's breakup was a surprise. I've spoken to her maybe 3 times in our lives; I believe we've met just once, and we only have 3 mutual friends. Her boyfriend wasn't that attractive overall, but he had a great job and they shared many hobbies and passions. The age difference between them was a touch above a decade, but the relationship appeared to work.

When she chatted me up on Facebook for the first time ever, I knew instantly what happened. I quickly checked her relationship status: it still showed that she was with him. I figured I was wrong.

"John and I broke up" she said, about 10 lines into the chat. "I'm sorry to hear that" was all I could manage, quickly wondering how I should engage her for a cocktail. There are lines even us assholes don't cross, and I'm never one to take advantage of a gal right after a crushing breakup.

The chat came and went a few times over 2 days, my only desire in it is to make her laugh (laughing online isn't that powerful, though). A few quick lines about life and I log off -- that's my usual modus operandi with these things.

Come Friday, I put out an invite for her to meet me and some friends for a cocktail. She doesn't accept nor decline, just leaves it hanging. Low interest, I would say.

The fact the her waist is probably a 24 and her tits and ass are in the 32 range means I'll definitely try a little harder, maybe after she's gone through the rebounds which are likely to be flocking to her soon when she announces the breakup public.