I took July off to deal with family needs, household makeovers, visits with friends and just a recharge from what was a fairly hectic late spring.
Alas, with all good long breaks comes my internal drive to accomplish something. I may have the world's most exciting job, but not finishing something for a client regularly can bring on the doldrums quickly. So off I go to international territories to visit with clients, get some work done, make some money, and maybe make new friends along the way.
So far, I have 3 trips planned: Venezuela (South America), Paris (Europe) and possibly Turkey (Asia). I have plans to meet some new bloggers that I read, one in Venezuela, one in Paris. We'll see how it goes, and you all are sure to hear about it first.
Towards the end of August, I think I'm going to hop over to Las Vegas for a 1 day shopping spree. Even though I haven't been working hard, some money is coming in from other jobs I did earlier in the spring. I've lost some weight since winter (10#) and really need some new pants, dress shirts, and a suit or four. We'll see how it goes, maybe I'll videoblog the shopping spree.
I'm really riled up lately. I've had the company of nothing less than some of the best looking gals around, but alas the chemistry just isn't right with any of them. Yes, I'm picky. Yes, I'm superficial. Yes, I love physical attention from women I date to see how much they desire my body. At the moment, my prospects are almost zero, so I know what I have to do: I have to go out on dates.
In other news, August is also new recipe month. I am working on a Bacon, Gouda, Apple and Sage soup recipe with almost no starch. It will be to-die-for and you'll get it here first. Also, I decided to try to push forward with a new low-starch bread that isn't all flax and soy. I won't say what I'm using, but initial test batches have proven it to be the gooiest, tastiest, crispiest bread I've ever had. Sadly, the shelf life is about 3 days, but it's amazing.
I have a bunch of minor hops around the country planned for August and September, mostly to seek out good restaurants that I can call my own. Kansas City, St. Louis, Portland, Seattle, Phoenix, Miami, and more. My goal is to find really nice places that are out of the usual tourist-trap areas, meet with the owners, and start visiting more often. I am on track to be traveling 60,000 miles less than I did last year, and I think I need to make that up in droves in the second half of 2009.
So that's my plan, nothing too exciting, but still fun. And I do promise to write more, I had a big of an Internet mental failure the last week. Now I'm back, with coffee in one hand, cigarettes in the other, and my laptop on my lap, where it should be living more often.
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Friday, July 24, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Opposite of Center: Why I don't have a girlfriend
I fell asleep last night completely by mistake EARLY. I'm still on London time, physically.
Those who know me personally know my watches and clocks are set to GMT: Greenwich Mean Time. It's about 6 hours ahead of Chicago. It's hard for me to actually know the current time of wherever I'm at because it doesn't matter. I tend to go by the sun's position during the day (sun is above me, time for "lunch"). When it comes to meeting people wherever I am at, I give them a range of times based on GMT and let them figure it out. In Chicago, though, I do set my phone clock to local time, because my friends hate when I tell them 6pm (or 18:00) and that's noon for them.
This morning I woke up at 4:30am (10:30am GMT). I decided to head into the office, sign paychecks (my one really good talent), put a sign on the door that said "Grab your check and take off at noon" and met up with a friend for breakfast at 6am. It was a fast day. My friend happens to be a woman who is in the same industry as I am in. There are about 32 people in the world that I am aware of that do what I do. 3 are women. 1 is sexually ambivalent, we're not sure if they're a he or a she, and we're not interested in digging deeper.
The woman, who I will call Cass, has done the same job as I for about 10 years longer. She's pushing 50, I would assume, but her cosmetic surgery keeps her face looking like she's in her 30s, and her body is rock solid. We generally only hang out at odd hours. Our favorite thing to do together is to eat a slab of protein and go rock climbing (the real rocks, not the fake ones at a gym). We've both injured ourselves numerous times, but thankfully our high metabolism and strong physical constitutions allow us to heal faster than most.
Today I noticed she was online (it's rare) so I popped her a question at 5:30 and asked what country she was in. Conveniently, she was in Chicago, her base of operations in the States. We decided to meet at our "secret diner" (I have a lot of secret places that I don't share with my out-of-industry friends) and have some greasy slabs of protein and maybe go and navigate some of the city if the weather held up.
I haven't seen Cass in over 10 months. The last time we met we were competing on a job pretty much against one another. This happens in my industry. Picture the guys from Gross Pointe Blank who had a friendly animosity towards one-another. That's how my trade is: we're enemies on the job, friends after work. That job ended up being profitable and successful for both of us, which isn't that rare when you consider that each of our clients had completely different goals in mind. I like that kind of work.
So Cass pulls up in her anonymous, easy to miss 10 year old car (a staple in our industry) and parks right behind me. She looks fantastic, as always. There's something incredible sexual about a woman of her age who walks with confidence, is built like a tank under her skin, but seems frail and lithe from the surface of her body's appearance. I always smile when I see her.
Cass is Euro-bred, so our welcoming gesture is always a kiss. There's never been more than a greeting kiss. From what I know, she's been with half of my other competitors, a common element when a job is over and one of your friends or foes happens to be a member of the opposite sex. James Bond (not what I do, mind you) always sleeps with the enemy woman or the consort on a job. Anyone who works in international circles on short term projects is familiar with the open-sexuality of both men and women.
We talk about upcoming projects, compare notes on our recent successes, discuss the intricacies of international law and financial matters, laugh about the destructive personalities of some others in our trade, and generally have a great time. We talk about a common topic thread of ours: the lives of loners.
I don't feel lonely often. I know I did about 4 years ago, but it passed when I attempted my hand at a serious relationship and realized that it's almost impossible for me to give a women 100% of what she'll need. They're out there, but they're rare birds that don't cross my path that often. Cass asks me if there is any ONE special person in my life, and I admit that I'm conversing with someone who I am attracted to, but that the likelihood of a serious deep-down boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is closer to zero percent than 50 percent. Lately I've been pushing away people who obviously want true love, soul mate unions and/or marriage ahead.
Cass has a guy in every port. Most guys in my industry have a woman in every port. It's actually very normal for the jobs we do. We find ourselves in the same towns here and there, and many professionals will work hard for the job cycle and then take a month off and shack up with someone, letting them know that the relationship is temporary. I go against the flow even here, not being able to successfully juggle more than one lover at a time.
She asks me why I didn't pursue the woman I felt I could openly and fully love those years ago. I told her that she's blind to the reality of 99.9% of the citizens of the world: they need roots, not just their own roots but to intermingle their roots with the roots of their significant others. I have no roots, not even my small apartment and old cat. My cat has traveled with me before when I have long contracts (anything over 10 days). My apartment can go into full shut-down mode, with only the housekeeper visiting thrice a week to dust up and make sure there's no problems.
"Why would that stop you from dating?" Live moves too quickly for me to actually get to know someone well enough. "You have a lot of time." Never in the same city for long. "There's always here, Chicago." Chicago is my love, my mistress, my wife. She'd be a jealous woman if I focused on one lucky lady. "You need to think about the future, too." That's true.
She's right. The day will come when my body and mind decide it's time to move on. Cass is a unique lady, able to keep her mind and body sharp even as age robs most people of their abilities. I may be just like her in that regard, but I have other goals and dreams for the future. Children? Maybe, but not certain. A farmhouse near a river with fields of grain and cattle? Definitely an option. A place to stay in a variety of urban cities? Yes.
But finding someone compatible with my lifestyle is slim to none. I have a problem with girlfriends that I refuse to overcome: I can't date people seriously that complain about every little thing. In my industry, we're trained to pick up on actions that people process that externalize their weaknesses. Many people will complain about everything in life as an externalization of their own self-hatred. They hate their jobs, their friends, their money situation, their lives in general. Instead of packing up their problems and addressing them, they blame everything else.
I can tolerate that with friends. For the rare few who I accepted into my love life, I can tolerate REAL complaints from random things that are hard to fix instantly but have an effect on their lives. But when it's one complaint after another, I have to break off and move on. In this supposed recession, there are far more complainers than happy people. So I have far more friends than I can handle well, and far fewer possible lowers or companions or consorts or mistresses.
We talked some more about the various options, but none of them smacked my eyes and brain and heart open enough to say "Yes! That's a good idea." Then it hit me: I'm just not interested. I love sex, I love wooing and courtship, I love dating in general. I'm a good boyfriend when I'm in a fixed location, but I'm not ready to make that commitment to anyone or anyplace just yet. If I'm horny, I'll find a lover who I am compatible with. If I'm lonely, I'll find a gal pal who can chill on the couch and watch movies or play cards or cook with me. If I need adventure or excitement, I'll grab one of my many unemployed friends and hit the road for 3 days.
Overall, I can't think of what's missing from my life. The need to be needed? No, I have that. Many people rely on me, and not just for business. Love? Not really, love is expendable because MOST relationships confuse love with lust or crushes or mutual need for attention.
We finished our breakfast and decided to wander to a local book store that was just opening its doors for the day. We wandered together, laughing at some of the fictional novels that obviously are written by amateurs with no knowledge of reality. That's always something to laugh about. A mob friend of mine tells me him and his guys laughed for months when the Sopranos was on, it was that off and wrong. A buddy I knew in the CIA used to laugh about the spy thrillers in theaters or novel form, how off it is. I'll always say the same thing about 100% of "self-help" books or "get rich quick" books that don't do anything for the reader except for inspire confidence. The problem with that is how much the confidence crashes when the person doesn't really get any help, or get rich, after following the book's dictations.
We have a final hug and a pop of the lips as we decide to part ways, both of us wondering if we'll see each other again as friends, like this, or as foes, as we had 10 months ago. I'm glad I saw her, realizing how different my life's path has gone compared to others in the industry.
Even though she makes more money than I do, has better connections, has more lovers, nicer apartments throughout the world, I realize one thing about Cass when I see her: she's just not happy. I am. I am so content in my life. My options are endless, and I take advantage of every day. I'm not overworked, I don't have the ridiculous responsibilities that the average middle class citizen has (school debt, credit card debt, high pet costs, crazy utility bills for their huge homes and old apartments, mortgage debt, gigantic health insurance bill). Even if I made a quarter of what I made now, I'd still be comfortable. I'd still be happy.
And that's what pushes me forward: I can continue on this adventure called life and never feel like I've wasted a day. No one holds me back, and no one I know or love or fuck or spend time with throws me off my game. Even my worst friendships and relationships have been beneficial in reminding me of the overall feeling of being content that I have, that so many people want to duplicate.
And that's how I'll close this: you can't duplicate my contentness with things, or with relationships, or with sex, or with drugs or drinking, or with degrees or raises or new job titles. You can't duplicate it by moving to a new town or country, or by going on vacation for a week. You can't grasp it with your hands or your mind or your heart. It comes from bringing closure to each of life's common stresses individually. It comes from being responsible, very responsible, for a very short period of time, just enough to put to rest many of those common stresses.
I was lucky. I ended the most common stresses between the ages of 17 and 21, when most people were getting degrees that they don't even use right now. I was blessed, am blessed, that I could spend those 5 years working hard so I can have the life I lead today.
Do that, today. Don't worry about guys or gals, don't worry about jobs or responsibilities tomorrow. Figure out what made you sad in recent years, and find the top 5 items that repeatedly make you sad. Then fix it by making sure they can't make you sad again. Take a year of very hard work, get 3 jobs if you must, turn off your cell phone service and your cable bill and your health club membership and eating out, but address it TODAY so that in a year or two (or more), you can put that stress to rest forever.
Those who know me personally know my watches and clocks are set to GMT: Greenwich Mean Time. It's about 6 hours ahead of Chicago. It's hard for me to actually know the current time of wherever I'm at because it doesn't matter. I tend to go by the sun's position during the day (sun is above me, time for "lunch"). When it comes to meeting people wherever I am at, I give them a range of times based on GMT and let them figure it out. In Chicago, though, I do set my phone clock to local time, because my friends hate when I tell them 6pm (or 18:00) and that's noon for them.
This morning I woke up at 4:30am (10:30am GMT). I decided to head into the office, sign paychecks (my one really good talent), put a sign on the door that said "Grab your check and take off at noon" and met up with a friend for breakfast at 6am. It was a fast day. My friend happens to be a woman who is in the same industry as I am in. There are about 32 people in the world that I am aware of that do what I do. 3 are women. 1 is sexually ambivalent, we're not sure if they're a he or a she, and we're not interested in digging deeper.
The woman, who I will call Cass, has done the same job as I for about 10 years longer. She's pushing 50, I would assume, but her cosmetic surgery keeps her face looking like she's in her 30s, and her body is rock solid. We generally only hang out at odd hours. Our favorite thing to do together is to eat a slab of protein and go rock climbing (the real rocks, not the fake ones at a gym). We've both injured ourselves numerous times, but thankfully our high metabolism and strong physical constitutions allow us to heal faster than most.
Today I noticed she was online (it's rare) so I popped her a question at 5:30 and asked what country she was in. Conveniently, she was in Chicago, her base of operations in the States. We decided to meet at our "secret diner" (I have a lot of secret places that I don't share with my out-of-industry friends) and have some greasy slabs of protein and maybe go and navigate some of the city if the weather held up.
I haven't seen Cass in over 10 months. The last time we met we were competing on a job pretty much against one another. This happens in my industry. Picture the guys from Gross Pointe Blank who had a friendly animosity towards one-another. That's how my trade is: we're enemies on the job, friends after work. That job ended up being profitable and successful for both of us, which isn't that rare when you consider that each of our clients had completely different goals in mind. I like that kind of work.
So Cass pulls up in her anonymous, easy to miss 10 year old car (a staple in our industry) and parks right behind me. She looks fantastic, as always. There's something incredible sexual about a woman of her age who walks with confidence, is built like a tank under her skin, but seems frail and lithe from the surface of her body's appearance. I always smile when I see her.
Cass is Euro-bred, so our welcoming gesture is always a kiss. There's never been more than a greeting kiss. From what I know, she's been with half of my other competitors, a common element when a job is over and one of your friends or foes happens to be a member of the opposite sex. James Bond (not what I do, mind you) always sleeps with the enemy woman or the consort on a job. Anyone who works in international circles on short term projects is familiar with the open-sexuality of both men and women.
We talk about upcoming projects, compare notes on our recent successes, discuss the intricacies of international law and financial matters, laugh about the destructive personalities of some others in our trade, and generally have a great time. We talk about a common topic thread of ours: the lives of loners.
I don't feel lonely often. I know I did about 4 years ago, but it passed when I attempted my hand at a serious relationship and realized that it's almost impossible for me to give a women 100% of what she'll need. They're out there, but they're rare birds that don't cross my path that often. Cass asks me if there is any ONE special person in my life, and I admit that I'm conversing with someone who I am attracted to, but that the likelihood of a serious deep-down boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is closer to zero percent than 50 percent. Lately I've been pushing away people who obviously want true love, soul mate unions and/or marriage ahead.
Cass has a guy in every port. Most guys in my industry have a woman in every port. It's actually very normal for the jobs we do. We find ourselves in the same towns here and there, and many professionals will work hard for the job cycle and then take a month off and shack up with someone, letting them know that the relationship is temporary. I go against the flow even here, not being able to successfully juggle more than one lover at a time.
She asks me why I didn't pursue the woman I felt I could openly and fully love those years ago. I told her that she's blind to the reality of 99.9% of the citizens of the world: they need roots, not just their own roots but to intermingle their roots with the roots of their significant others. I have no roots, not even my small apartment and old cat. My cat has traveled with me before when I have long contracts (anything over 10 days). My apartment can go into full shut-down mode, with only the housekeeper visiting thrice a week to dust up and make sure there's no problems.
"Why would that stop you from dating?" Live moves too quickly for me to actually get to know someone well enough. "You have a lot of time." Never in the same city for long. "There's always here, Chicago." Chicago is my love, my mistress, my wife. She'd be a jealous woman if I focused on one lucky lady. "You need to think about the future, too." That's true.
She's right. The day will come when my body and mind decide it's time to move on. Cass is a unique lady, able to keep her mind and body sharp even as age robs most people of their abilities. I may be just like her in that regard, but I have other goals and dreams for the future. Children? Maybe, but not certain. A farmhouse near a river with fields of grain and cattle? Definitely an option. A place to stay in a variety of urban cities? Yes.
But finding someone compatible with my lifestyle is slim to none. I have a problem with girlfriends that I refuse to overcome: I can't date people seriously that complain about every little thing. In my industry, we're trained to pick up on actions that people process that externalize their weaknesses. Many people will complain about everything in life as an externalization of their own self-hatred. They hate their jobs, their friends, their money situation, their lives in general. Instead of packing up their problems and addressing them, they blame everything else.
I can tolerate that with friends. For the rare few who I accepted into my love life, I can tolerate REAL complaints from random things that are hard to fix instantly but have an effect on their lives. But when it's one complaint after another, I have to break off and move on. In this supposed recession, there are far more complainers than happy people. So I have far more friends than I can handle well, and far fewer possible lowers or companions or consorts or mistresses.
We talked some more about the various options, but none of them smacked my eyes and brain and heart open enough to say "Yes! That's a good idea." Then it hit me: I'm just not interested. I love sex, I love wooing and courtship, I love dating in general. I'm a good boyfriend when I'm in a fixed location, but I'm not ready to make that commitment to anyone or anyplace just yet. If I'm horny, I'll find a lover who I am compatible with. If I'm lonely, I'll find a gal pal who can chill on the couch and watch movies or play cards or cook with me. If I need adventure or excitement, I'll grab one of my many unemployed friends and hit the road for 3 days.
Overall, I can't think of what's missing from my life. The need to be needed? No, I have that. Many people rely on me, and not just for business. Love? Not really, love is expendable because MOST relationships confuse love with lust or crushes or mutual need for attention.
We finished our breakfast and decided to wander to a local book store that was just opening its doors for the day. We wandered together, laughing at some of the fictional novels that obviously are written by amateurs with no knowledge of reality. That's always something to laugh about. A mob friend of mine tells me him and his guys laughed for months when the Sopranos was on, it was that off and wrong. A buddy I knew in the CIA used to laugh about the spy thrillers in theaters or novel form, how off it is. I'll always say the same thing about 100% of "self-help" books or "get rich quick" books that don't do anything for the reader except for inspire confidence. The problem with that is how much the confidence crashes when the person doesn't really get any help, or get rich, after following the book's dictations.
We have a final hug and a pop of the lips as we decide to part ways, both of us wondering if we'll see each other again as friends, like this, or as foes, as we had 10 months ago. I'm glad I saw her, realizing how different my life's path has gone compared to others in the industry.
Even though she makes more money than I do, has better connections, has more lovers, nicer apartments throughout the world, I realize one thing about Cass when I see her: she's just not happy. I am. I am so content in my life. My options are endless, and I take advantage of every day. I'm not overworked, I don't have the ridiculous responsibilities that the average middle class citizen has (school debt, credit card debt, high pet costs, crazy utility bills for their huge homes and old apartments, mortgage debt, gigantic health insurance bill). Even if I made a quarter of what I made now, I'd still be comfortable. I'd still be happy.
And that's what pushes me forward: I can continue on this adventure called life and never feel like I've wasted a day. No one holds me back, and no one I know or love or fuck or spend time with throws me off my game. Even my worst friendships and relationships have been beneficial in reminding me of the overall feeling of being content that I have, that so many people want to duplicate.
And that's how I'll close this: you can't duplicate my contentness with things, or with relationships, or with sex, or with drugs or drinking, or with degrees or raises or new job titles. You can't duplicate it by moving to a new town or country, or by going on vacation for a week. You can't grasp it with your hands or your mind or your heart. It comes from bringing closure to each of life's common stresses individually. It comes from being responsible, very responsible, for a very short period of time, just enough to put to rest many of those common stresses.
I was lucky. I ended the most common stresses between the ages of 17 and 21, when most people were getting degrees that they don't even use right now. I was blessed, am blessed, that I could spend those 5 years working hard so I can have the life I lead today.
Do that, today. Don't worry about guys or gals, don't worry about jobs or responsibilities tomorrow. Figure out what made you sad in recent years, and find the top 5 items that repeatedly make you sad. Then fix it by making sure they can't make you sad again. Take a year of very hard work, get 3 jobs if you must, turn off your cell phone service and your cable bill and your health club membership and eating out, but address it TODAY so that in a year or two (or more), you can put that stress to rest forever.
Read the rest...
Monday, June 8, 2009
Busy season ahead
So this next week or two is CRAZY for me. Consider this:
1. LA
2. Boston
3. New Jersey
4. Rio de Janeiro
5. London
6. Atlanta
Yes, in about 14-16 days. OUCH.
But don't fear. Thanks to a new muse in my life, I have written about 30 true-stories about yours truly that will auto-post daily each morning or so. 12 of them are about previous relationships/lovers, 8 are about business and money matters, 5 are about dating from my perspective, and 5 are things I want to accomplish this summer.
I love to travel. It's extremely exciting for me to get on a plane, I don't care where. I dream, dream, DREAM for a fuck buddy who can take 1-2 days off (or their already off-days) to hop on a plane (my treat) and visit me where I am. This is why distance means NOTHING to me for relationships. (A) I can afford to send people over, and (2) it's always a grand time.
Things that get in the way, though:
1. Dogs. I can't have a girlfriend with a dog. I wish I could, honestly. I love dogs. Women with dogs are relegated to fuck buddy or friends with benefits or sugar baby status. Imagine if I was in NYC, staying in a 5-star hotel suite, with a $500 per diem stipend from my client and the woman can't leave her dog at home? Forget it. Cats are fine. Give em water, food and a clean litter box and get in the fucking limo to the airport 15 minutes later.
2. On-call jobs. I hate this one. I had a friend-with-benefits who had to fly home on $1000 last-minute fare from visiting me because they were called in to their shit jobs. No thanks.
3. Too many guys they're dating. When I'm with someone but it's not at a point of monogamy or dating commitment, I fully expect them to be dating/seeing others. It doesn't bother me, I'm not the jealous type. I guarantee I'm at the top of their list for so many reasons. But if they have a bunch o' boys or men, and they cancel on me after I booked airfare and limo, fuck them in the ear. I don't want to ever do that again. Canceling on me more than once is a deal breaker.
4. People who hate to travel. This one gets to me quickly. You don't want to come to Portland to see me because you hate travel? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?
I've got a few things brewing business-wise that may turn my life into a constant state of travel. I'm very excited about it. My handler on the East Coast and my handler in Spain both have a ton of amazing clients for me to field. But the 8 hour travel to Europe can suck if it's for 1 day at a time, so I need to stabilize my billable rate to include a mandatory 5X total-travel-time stipend. If it takes me 8 hours to get there plus 2 hours of airport time each way, that's 20 hours. My minimum billable today is 2 days, but for that sort of trip it should be 100 hours or about 4.5 days. I need to fix this, STAT.
Summer is looking amazing, really amazing. I'm fairly certain that I am going to be dressed to the nines daily. I'm really happy with the white hairs popping out of my head (the ladies seem to love it, too). My car drives well, my apartment is CLEAN and organized, I have more confidence and happiness today than I've had in the past 15 years, and I have things squared away entertainment-wise: tons of shows, theater, opera, museum private events, etc.
Now all I need is a regular mouth to come in or on, a pretty face to take with on dinner dates or theater nights, and a bigger bed at my place. I have no furniture since my kitchen and bath are a few weeks from getting torn out, so I'm going to repaint the bedroom, too, and add more storage and lighting.
Oh, I'm so excited.
What do you have that is exciting this summer? Talk.
1. LA
2. Boston
3. New Jersey
4. Rio de Janeiro
5. London
6. Atlanta
Yes, in about 14-16 days. OUCH.
But don't fear. Thanks to a new muse in my life, I have written about 30 true-stories about yours truly that will auto-post daily each morning or so. 12 of them are about previous relationships/lovers, 8 are about business and money matters, 5 are about dating from my perspective, and 5 are things I want to accomplish this summer.
I love to travel. It's extremely exciting for me to get on a plane, I don't care where. I dream, dream, DREAM for a fuck buddy who can take 1-2 days off (or their already off-days) to hop on a plane (my treat) and visit me where I am. This is why distance means NOTHING to me for relationships. (A) I can afford to send people over, and (2) it's always a grand time.
Things that get in the way, though:
1. Dogs. I can't have a girlfriend with a dog. I wish I could, honestly. I love dogs. Women with dogs are relegated to fuck buddy or friends with benefits or sugar baby status. Imagine if I was in NYC, staying in a 5-star hotel suite, with a $500 per diem stipend from my client and the woman can't leave her dog at home? Forget it. Cats are fine. Give em water, food and a clean litter box and get in the fucking limo to the airport 15 minutes later.
2. On-call jobs. I hate this one. I had a friend-with-benefits who had to fly home on $1000 last-minute fare from visiting me because they were called in to their shit jobs. No thanks.
3. Too many guys they're dating. When I'm with someone but it's not at a point of monogamy or dating commitment, I fully expect them to be dating/seeing others. It doesn't bother me, I'm not the jealous type. I guarantee I'm at the top of their list for so many reasons. But if they have a bunch o' boys or men, and they cancel on me after I booked airfare and limo, fuck them in the ear. I don't want to ever do that again. Canceling on me more than once is a deal breaker.
4. People who hate to travel. This one gets to me quickly. You don't want to come to Portland to see me because you hate travel? Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?
I've got a few things brewing business-wise that may turn my life into a constant state of travel. I'm very excited about it. My handler on the East Coast and my handler in Spain both have a ton of amazing clients for me to field. But the 8 hour travel to Europe can suck if it's for 1 day at a time, so I need to stabilize my billable rate to include a mandatory 5X total-travel-time stipend. If it takes me 8 hours to get there plus 2 hours of airport time each way, that's 20 hours. My minimum billable today is 2 days, but for that sort of trip it should be 100 hours or about 4.5 days. I need to fix this, STAT.
Summer is looking amazing, really amazing. I'm fairly certain that I am going to be dressed to the nines daily. I'm really happy with the white hairs popping out of my head (the ladies seem to love it, too). My car drives well, my apartment is CLEAN and organized, I have more confidence and happiness today than I've had in the past 15 years, and I have things squared away entertainment-wise: tons of shows, theater, opera, museum private events, etc.
Now all I need is a regular mouth to come in or on, a pretty face to take with on dinner dates or theater nights, and a bigger bed at my place. I have no furniture since my kitchen and bath are a few weeks from getting torn out, so I'm going to repaint the bedroom, too, and add more storage and lighting.
Oh, I'm so excited.
What do you have that is exciting this summer? Talk.
Read the rest...
Friday, May 8, 2009
On to work, on to Houston
A call came in this afternoon from a number I didn't recognize, from an area code I didn't recognize. I answered.
"Mr. Sane?" Mmmhmm. "We got your name and number from PET." Have work? "A lot. Do you have a portfolio?" No. "We'd like an example of what you've done recently." No. It's all under non-disclosure. Silence.
"How do people hire you?" Word of mouth. My name stands for itself. "Isn't that a bad idea?" No. I don't need the work. "This is an important project." All projects are important.
"So how do we do this?" If you're not in Chicago, Las Vegas, Miami, Los Angeles or New York City, you need to fly me out, put me up in a hotel, show me what you want, and I decide. "It's a tough market out there, why are you picky?" It's not tough for me. "That's what Don at PET said. You'd be cocky, but worth it."
Pick a day. "Next week?" Fine. "Tuesday?" Just tell me what time and send me a travel voucher. Good hotel, too. "What are your rates?" I don't have any rates. I'll tell you what I want, and you can say yes or no. "No negotiation?" Never. "Are you busy?" Constantly.
"Ok, it was nice talking to you. We'll send you the details today." I give them my email address. I really need an assistant, these phone calls are annoying and not worth my time.
I get an email an hour later for a business class flight out of O'hare to Houston. Early flight. Put up in a decent 4-star hotel. I didn't even ask what company I was visiting, but the email confirmed it: some corporate drone holding company, probably owned by GE or the Bush family or the Clintons. All these large scale corporations are tied to powerful people or powerful companies.
So off I am to Houston for a day. I won't spend the night, but I'll use the hotel.
Who wants to come with for a day of fun? The meeting won't last 30 minutes. They'll hate my price. They'll accept it anyway, because they have no time to waste. Maybe I'll charge more than usual. I don't need the work, and I definitely don't need someone questioning my talents if they already received a rave review and a stern warning not to piss me off or negotiate with me.
My time is not-negotiable. My wages are not-negotiable. I am good at what I do, and they will either pay me and get it done right in 1/4 the time, or they'll hire a cubicle-crawler with no real experience.
That means more money to spend on someone I like. That means finding someone I like. That means I do need to get out there. Maybe I will go out tonight and take my two blog friends here up on their offer. We'll see.
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Friday, May 1, 2009
Return to sender.
Decent enough day. Hit Lowe's in the morning, knocked out work by 1pm, and just woke up from a 2 hour nap that I desperately needed. Very cute girl at Lowe's today, sent me a decent smile, but I wasn't feeling up to hitting on yet another gal who is probably 20. Haven't been running into many 25-35 year olds out on the street lately. Odd.
A long and painfully hot shower awaits. Tonight I'm having dinners with a few friends (someplace new, I hope) and then hitting the road solo. Called a few of the guys but none of them have the energy to go out, so it'll just be me barhopping. Maybe an early night...
The weekend is going to be a joyful rest, with a TON of cleaning at home. I started to go trough one of my "Must Sort" boxes and it's gotten bigger in the past 4 weeks. Lots of junk to toss, bills to shred, and probably letters to respond to.
I've out of my horny phase today for some strange reason, which should give me ample energy to focus on a good cocktail and maybe some decent hipster-watching. Liz decided to stay in tonight (her boyfriend is over), and a few of my gal pals are going to Boystown, where I might head if other areas are boring.
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